Lost Memories
by kitoriwitch613
Summary: THIS IS UP FOR ADOPTION. Without a name, a past, or any identity of who he is, Ryuuzaki is alone. Will he find the key to his memories? Or will he regret finding out at all? *Spoilers for manga and anime* *Set after Ch. 58* Light/L Yaoi
1. Prologue

**Death Note: Lost Memories (Prologue)**

Death was horrible. Surely this was death. He was surrounded by darkness. Perhaps he was blind. And maybe deaf, too, since all he could hear was the rushing of blood in his swirling head. He was sore. His muscles felt like they hadn't been used in days, or longer, and who knew how long he had been here?

But what was here? What was this place? He was too sore to move and feel around, but he could feel the floor under him. He felt a cloth fabric, some cushioning, and something hard under that. Against his body's protests, he scooted his hand away from him. It hurt, badly. Little pricks and tingles stabbed his nerves. His hand didn't go far before it hit the wall next to him. He did the same to the other and saw it was about the same distance apart. That wasn't good. He lifted his right hand up, too quickly, and it smacked into the ceiling, which was only mere inches from his face. Not good. Not good.

Now he was panicking. He was in a box. Claustrophobia was setting in and his anxiety levels were rising. A sound came from his mouth, a breathy moan, nearly inaudible. But he heard it, so he wasn't deaf. He licked his lips, feeling the dry skin of his lips scrape against his tongue. His throat was dry and he tried to swallow saliva that wasn't there.

"Waaaah," he cried at breathily, "Aaaagh….Argh!…..Arrrrgh! Arrrrgh! Aaaaah!" Ignoring the pain in his muscles, he banged his fists on the top of the box, slamming his palm against it. "AAAAH! AAAAH! AAAAH!" His mind shouted 'Help me!' but what came out of his mouth was "¡Ayúdeme! Helfen Sie mir!" _Let me out! _"Faites-moi sortir! Освободите меня!" He didn't know what he was shouting out. All he heard was his voice, was it his voice?, in his head that cried out for help. "Aiutilo!" He banged harder and harder, and his fists and palms hurt so badly. "Help me! Help me! Help me!" Now he was bumping his knees with the ceiling. "Tasukete!"

He was scared. Who wouldn't be? His eyes were instantly moist, but his throat and tongue were dry as the desert. Every sound he made came out hoarse. He didn't even know he was shouting in different languages. He just wanted to get the hell our of there.

And then he heard it. A sound of hope. Oh gods, the metaphorical light had come to his rescue!

"Is there someone there?" came the mumbled reply.

He wept. Someone had come! "Help me!" he shouted, matching the language he had heard his savior say, "Help me! I'm in here! Get me out!"

"Hold on buddy!" said the voice on the other side of his prison, his angel.

Oh gods, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

There was the sound of wood creaking and cracking. Then, he saw through splinters, a tiny bit of dim light. The person who came to his rescue was using a metal tool. It looked to be a crowbar. So the box had been nailed shut. No wonder he couldn't budge it.

And then the top came off. He saw who his savior was. It was a stout-looking uniformed man, a security guard. He had on a bushy mustache and a double chin. The ceiling light behind him made it look like he was glowing.

"Are you okay, buddy?" asked the savior. "What were you doing in there?"

The savior's pudgy hands went under his armpits and lifted him out of the box that could have been his coffin. Then, when he was out of the box and trying to stand on weak legs, using the savior as a leaning post, he saw that it was a coffin. It was elegant and white and gold. What was he doing in there? Was he dead? No, he was clearly alive.

"What's your name buddy?" asked the savior.

He blinked at the savior. He racked his brains, but it seemed his thoughts were too far away and kept scurrying away from him. Name? Name…Name…Name…Name…

Nothing came. He couldn't find an answer. And now he was in a new panic. He searched the hollows of his mind for an answer, a clue, a hint, anything!

"What's your name?" repeated the savior.

He blinked. "I…I dunno."

The savior's eyes widened slightly. "Well, what do you remember?"

And he told him what familiarity he found in his brain. "Nothing."

He didn't know who he was, where he was, or how he got there. He was a stranger to himself.

"C'mon," said the pork-belly savior, "I'm taking you to the hospital."

As the savior half carried him, he looked around. The place was bland. It had only white walls and tiled floors. Then they went through the door and there was a sudden change in scenery. It was more elegant, but still cluttered with caskets.

"Excuse me," he asked, "Where are we?"

His savior looked back at him. The frown he had made more lines on his face. "We're at the Hosho American Style Funeral Home."

He looked down at his feet. So he was dead, supposedly dead. Someone had thought he was dead.

"Let's see who, uh, dropped you off here," said the savior. He was led into a small office. He waited against the wall, his thumb nail in between his lips. The savior looked through paper work.

"Here we go," said his rescuer, "It says here that a Mr. Yagami was the one who dropped you off. Does he sound familiar to you?"

He looked down again, furrowing his eyebrows. _Yagami…Yagami…Yagami…_ Again, it felt like the answer was there, but was out of his reach. It was frustrating.

"Nothing?"

He shook his head.

The fat angel sighed. "Well, just sit there. I'm going to call an ambulance and get you into a hospital, then I'm going to call this Mr. Yagami, and see if he's responsible for you."

He nodded. Then he sat himself down on one of the metal chairs that was against the wall. He had his feet on the ground, and that felt uncomfortable. He brought his knees to his chest. Better. Then, he lifted his buttocks off the chair, but his balance was off and he fell back down. Why was sitting so damn difficult?

"Here we go!" He looked up and saw the porky uniformed officer holding a document, "It says here your name is Ryuuzaki! Hm, no last name. I'm guessing that Yagami is your last name. Does that sound familiar?"

He shook his head. "No," he mumbled, "It…It doesn't…" There was no familiarity with that name, either. Was he really Yagami Ryuuzaki? There was no way to tell now.

While his savior made phone calls to a hospital and for the person who ran the funeral, he, perhaps it was time for him to go by Ryuuzaki? Yes, he will call himself Ryuuzaki for now. So, while his savior made phone calls, Ryuuzaki wracked his brain again and again, but, like cockroaches to a light, he couldn't find answers. It was like he didn't exist until he woke up in that casket. Perhaps he was once dead and he came back to life?

Who knows?

* * *

_(A/N): I bet my loyal readers are like "OMGWTFBBQBRBG2G!!!1!!" and whatever the hell kind of textilian they have come up with. Yes, I'm writing a Death Note fic. And guess what? It's yaoi! Yay! I'm a big, big, big fan. If you ever go on my deviantart account, you'll find my lemons I know, I have, like, three other stories I need to update, but man, this was bugging at me. I'm excited about this one. And this is only the prologue. I'm writing chapter one right now. And first of all, has totally confused me with all these updates. I was going to call this "Memories", but there already is a DN fic with that title, so I'm calling this "Lost Memories". I hope you guys enjoy! Read, review, all that jazz._


	2. Chapter I

**Lost Memories I**

Things were coming together nicely. Oh yes, they were. Just yesterday, phase one had been completed. Like a mental recording, the scene in where L's spoon fell from his hands as he tumbled out of his swivel ran through his mind as a sweet remembrance of sweet victory. After all he had put up with, after everything he was cornered into doing, Light had finally won.

The great detective L was gone. Dead.

The best part? No one suspected him anymore, save for L, whom was forever doomed in the dark world of Death. The image of him screaming and pulling his hair out after realizing he had been dead-on—he'd had it all along—as he continued to relish the sweet taste of victory. Light Yagami was Kira. And there was not a damn thing L could be because… well, because he was dead. Light was not.

Checkmate. The game was over.

Light imagined winning the lottery would feel like something similar. But, if given the chance, L's death would have never been considered second best to something as worthless as money. It was worthless when your archrival lived. Light had not won the lottery—he had won the world. The new world he was destined to create was closer than ever. He could see it then—him; God. Known as a God, loved as a God, worshipped as a God.

Kira, God of the World; the titled fit him, Light decided.

A kid visiting Disney World could not feel happier than he did, yet he chose to keep it a secret. He held it all in. To all who were working on the Kira case, Light was set out for revenge. He was mourning, and at times, gone insane from the loss—laughing uncontrollably. He was depressed. Light spent more and more of his time locked up in his room, accepting his meals there. When he felt someone watching him, he would pretend to be lost in thought, sighing frequently when Matsuda, or any of the other buffoons, tried talking to him. His eyes would gaze upon them blankly.

The role of L had been set on the table instantly. His father and the other investigators had brought it up after L had been determined to be deceased. It was decided the world could go on with their lives without a mention of his death. Light accepted this, denying a vacation time after time. But, his father was hardheaded and felt it necessary for his son to return to his schooling. Therefore, Light did.

Fortunately, no one seemed to notice Ryuuga Hideki's absence. It was as though he had never existed, but Light had to admit it was L's paranoia that helped with that: missing classes for the sake of preserving his self had proved him nothing more than a nobody to Light. It was only occasionally when someone mentioned his absence, inquiring Light. At that, he mentioned online classes.

After classes were over, he walked home. Without a worry, he left Misa with her commercial shootings and acting and the Kira matter as he found it impossible to reach his own note. It being locked up and watched by the Task Force and all. But, Light thought nothing of it—there were ways and ways of being Kira without having to write all those names down. He had Misa Amane in the palm of his hand now that Rem was gone—along with her note—and Misa's undying love for him would push her to do anything and everything he asked. At times, Light even questioned the idea of him asking her to jump of a building; he did feel she would if he asked.

"I'm home," he called out when he walked into his house and replaced his shoes with slippers.

It was late into the evening; Light had stopped by to see his father at the headquarters. When he asked about joining again, his father quickly reprimanded him lightly, telling him to go home and ask again in a few days.

He was halfway up the stairs when his sister showed up at the top of the stairs. "Hey, Nii-san!" she greeted him happily, "Did you see Misa-chan today?"

Light smiled, "No, not today, Sayu."

Sayu smiled widely. "Oh well…It is so cool that you're dating a celebrity!" Light walked by her, patting her on the head. "When can I tell my friends you're dating _the_ Amane Misa?"

As he unlocked his door, he removed the lead piece out of its security spot. "Not right now. Promise me you won't tell, okay?"

Sayu pouted and crossed her arms. "Fine, I promise." She went downstairs, presumably to help their mother with the cooking, and Light went into his room to work on his homework.

* * *

Soichirou had given his word that he would be home tonight. Sachiko, Light's mother, served him a plate; she hoped he'd come soon. The odds of him keeping this promise were slim; she knew that and learned to accept it after the first few months after the start of the Kira case.

To everyone's surprise, as the family sat down, preparing to eat, the front door opened and in walked Soichirou.

"Daddy!" Sayu cried out. Knocking her chair over, she ran and jumped into her father's arms. Soichirou smiled, embracing her warmly.

"How was work, honey?" Sachiko asked as she kissed him.

His father sat down in front of Light. The bags under his eyes were larger than usual and the man looked older than his actual age. The brunet noticed the increasing rate of gray hairs created from stress. "It's been busy."

Light picked at his food. "I could help you with the investigation, if you'd like."

"You need to be worrying about your school work, right now."

"I agree," Sachiko said, sitting down next to her husband, "You need to be worrying about other things. You should take Misa-chan out sometime, buy her something nice; girls like getting nice things." She cleared her throat. "Like, gold jewelry or diamonds—or a nice dinner date."

Oblivious to what she was getting at, Soichirou said, "Do what your mother says."

As they ate, Sayu talked about her friends and school. Light itched for a moment he could discuss about the Kira case with his father, but it would be impossible to do so while his sister and mother were there—they couldn't know he had been offered L's role when they didn't even know he had been working on the case to begin with.

At some point, the phone rang as they ate. Sachiko got out of her chair, mumbling about how they had just been eating peacefully. "Hello, Yagami residence? May I ask who's speaking? Alright, one moment please." She covered the mouthpiece with her hand, directing her attention to Soichirou. "Honey, there's a Dr. Uramura who wants to speak to you."

The man stood, confused. "Uramura? Never heard of him."

"It's probably about your high blood pressure."

Taking the phone, he walked into the kitchen. "This is Soichirou Yagami…"

Sachiko sat down. "Honestly, your father's health has been deteriorating ever since he started working on that stupid case. I hope they catch that man soon."

"He will, Mom," Light said, giving her a confident smile.

"Yeah!" Sayu punched the air, "Dad will catch the bad guy just like…"

From out of the kitchen came a cry from Soichirou. He sounded flabbergasted. "He's _alive_?" All looked toward the man, waiting for some sort of news.

"Are you sure? But he was checked by a doctor…Are you sure it's him? I understand…Yes, I'll be there immediately."

Soichirou entered the dining room and addressed the family, "I've got to get to the hospital. I'll be back later."

"Dad, I'm coming too," Light said, standing up. Soichirou looked him over and nodded.

A little surprised when his father had not put up a fight about it, Light followed after him. He grabbed his coat and shoved his feet into some shoes. "Dad, what's going on?" he asked once in the car.

"Don't get your hopes up," Soichirou said, "They're probably mistaken. There is no way it could be him. I checked him myself. The doctor said he had no heartbeat. How could he be…"

"Dad!" Light interrupted, "What are you talking about?"

Soichirou sighed and inhaled, "I don't want you to get your hopes up, but…" He licked his lips. They came to a red light and Soichirou took a chance and looked over at Light.

"That doctor, Uramura, informed me that Ryuuzaki is at the hospital, alive and well."

At the thought, Light's world came crash down—tumbling from his thrown, he mouth hung limply, and his eyes widened in fear and anger. He couldn't believe it—he wouldn't. This is just a sick joke, he assured himself.

He forced his mouth closed, biting his lips harshly. "H-How can that be possible? We all checked him. The doctor's checked him! He can't be alive!"

"That's what I said—but Uramura's description of the man sounded just like Ryuuzaki." Soichirou kept his eyes on the road as he finally cracked a smile. "We're just going to check it out; it can't really be him. But…"

Light gazed forward. Of course, he kept telling himself, it wasn't L. He had died in his arms. Whoever this person was, it couldn't possibly be L. What if it was a trap? Perhaps Interpol had gotten a signal from L's computer when Watari had deleted all the data? They had come down here to investigate and catch him, didn't they? It was like L to have it known that Light was a suspect. He might have been paranoid, but he really hoped they weren't there to bring him in.

Then he remembered and assured himself that there was no possible way he could be arrested. There was no evidence anyone could bring up against him to prove him as Kira. Apart from the Task Force, no one else knew of the notebooks; if they did, no amount of thorough searching would help them find one. If they searched Misa's home, they'd turn up once again with nothing. Even Misa wasn't stupid enough to leave her note anywhere other than her person or anywhere Light advised her to. If anything should happen and Misa were caught, she would not talk. If they broke her, it'd be his word against hers. And knowing the case would never reach court, Light began climbing back to his throne.

He knew there was no chance of L escaping the clutches of death. No one could. Not even the great detective that ever _lived_.

He and his father would arrive, and once taking one look at the man thought as L, inform this Uramura of his mistake and head back home. Ryuuzaki was a commonly crossed upon name. Men with black hair and dark eyes were very common as well. L was a Caucasian male, but his traits were like those of a common Japanese man.

"Dad…Ryuuzaki has to be dead. I watched him die," Light began, slowly, "His funeral's tomorrow…"

"We have to check this out," his father answered, "Who knows…maybe Kira made a mistake. He's human too, you know…"

_Kira does not make mistakes_, Light thought as he watched the scenery zoom past, _I never make mistakes. I do not plan to, either…_

* * *

When they arrived at the hospital, Light was first out of the car as he dashed through the automatic doors. He approached the front desk.

"We're looking for Dr. Uramura." He felt his father come up from behind and stand beside him.

The nurse at the front desk was middle-aged and had her dark hair done up in a bun. "I'm sorry, dear, but she's busy with a patient right now. If you could take a seat in the waiting room, please."

"Tell her that Mr. Yagami is here," Soichirou added, "She told me to come right away. It involves one of her patients."

The woman's smile did not falter. "I'll call her and let her know you are here. In the meantime, please have a seat."

Reluctantly, Light and Soichirou sat down. Not that it mattered, but there was an elderly couple sitting across from them, holding hands. They seemed to be the only other people there. The brunet gave them a quick glance as he turned his attention to the nurse; she sat serenely, taking her sweet time when making that phone call. Light suddenly felt paranoid and felt like hiding his face. Was this feeling actually anxiousness? This whole thing was a misunderstanding. It was nothing to fret over.

What seemed like hours later, Light saw a female walking down toward them. A woman attired in black khaki pants and a white lab coat. As she reached closer, the sound of her black pumps filled the vicinity.

"Mr. Yagami…" she peered at both of them from behind dark-rimmed glasses. Soichirou and Light stood to greet her. "I'm Dr. Uramura."

"I'm Soichirou Yagami," the older man introduced himself, "And this is my son, Light."

As Light shook hands with the woman, an urge to kill her right then and there fell over him. However, he calmed and followed Soichirou and Uramura through a door into the sterile halls of the hospital.

"Mr. Yagami, are you familiar with Ryuuzaki?" asked Dr. Uramura.

"I was familiar with him, but as far as I'm concerned… he's dead," Soichirou answered, "Are you sure that our Ryuuzaki is the man you have here?"

"The only documentation that we found was his death certificate made by the director of the funeral home." Uramura led them to an elevator and pressed one of the buttons. Then, the doors closed. "He was found by one of the security guards when he had heard shouting. He said he thought kids had broken into the mortuary and went to investigate. Sometimes teenagers will lock their friends in the caskets as a joke…"

"Did this man specifically request my father?" Light asked.

Uramura looked at him, seemingly agitated that a kid would interfere with adult conversation, but it seemed like a legitimate question. "No, we only knew to call you by the records left at the funeral home." Professionally, she crossed her arms and looked at Soichirou. "There's something else I would like to discuss with you. However, that shall have to wait until you have confirmed his identity. All I can legally tell you at the moment is that he is going through some tests…"

"Tests?" Light asked, "What kind of tests have you put him under?"

"We've done the basic health tests and we're checking his blood, but right now our specialists have set him working on his memory," she said.

The doors opened and they followed her down another hallway with doors on either side leading to sleeping patients. Uramura led them through a wooden-paneled door that read 'Employees Only'. Down that hall, their shoes squeaked as they made contact with the newly polished floors.

"Where does this lead to?" asked Soichirou.

"The observatory where Ryuuzaki is stationed," she answered. She turned at a corner and led them through another door. The room seemed familiar somehow when Light spotted computer screens, beeping monitors, a two-way mirror, and a door leading into the next room where a man was sitting a small chair.

Light stayed behind as his father rushed to the window. Soichirou began to mumble and a small incredulous smile appeared on his face.

Once his father moved aside and took a seat at the table, Light moved forward. As he peered into the window, the brunet's eyes widened.

Looking pale and calm as ever and sitting in the middle of the room was L. He wore a white hospital gown and leaned against his chair as he brought his knees to his chest and his thumb lazily to his mouth. That messy black hair and those large dark eyes could only belong to L.

Light's insides churned. He felt faint, anger blinded him, and his body began trembling. He felt a scream build within him but held back. Neither Uramura nor his father paid any attention to him as his legs gave out and he kneeled against the window. How could this have happened? That cannot be L, he thought angrily. L is dead. But there he was. He sat in front of a makeshift computer wearing large headphones. Observed by doctors like some kind of science experiment, L sat without a care in the world—taunting Light to make a move on a poor, defenseless man.

"Do you recognize him?" Light heard Dr. Uramura ask.

Soichirou nodded. "Yes, that's him. It's a miracle… but how?" He found himself at a loss of words…

"In this hospital, I've seen miracle after miracle." The woman paused, gazing over at the man. "Ryuuzaki is undergoing a test that'll help us understand his interpretation of language… I need to talk to you about something very important. I have studied neurology and the effects severe injuries give the nerves in the brain for over fifteen years. Ryuuzaki's case is one like I've never seen before."

"What's wrong with him?"

Rubbing her temples, she sighed and removed her glasses. "He has a mild case of amnesia. When we found him, he didn't know his name, age, nothing—He can't remember anything prior to waking up in his casket."

From his spot beside the window, Light's eyes widened. He was shocked but pleased. He was safe—L, the world's greatest detective, was now nothing and could never harm Light.

Soichirou was shocked as well; it had been something he did not want to hear. "What surprises me is that he may be one of the smartest boys I've ever encountered. He's fluent in eight different languages but can't remember where he's learned it all."

Light felt a sort of pride radiating from the woman—like a mother boasting how that's her child up on stage at the school talent show.

"He's truly an amazing person," Uramura continued, "Ryuuzaki knows so much but can't find the answers he must long to know."

"Are you certain he has amnesia?" Soichirou asked. Light could only barely hold back the urge to scoff. Of course he does, don't question it—how persistent are you? He's not coming back! Light thought, boastfully.

"Yes, we have tested him several times with state of the art equipment. There's no mistaking it. The thing we can't be sure of… when he'll begin remembering."

"There are more questions I have to ask you," Uramura directed her attention to both of them, "What are your relationships with Ryuuzaki?""

Playing the part of an innocent victim, Light's voice was barely audible. "We… we're friends. We met each other at our orientation."

Dr. Uramura nodded. "I see. And you, Mr. Yagami—you must have met him through your son, correct?" Soichirou nodded. "Those who suffer from amnesia recover faster when surrounded by family and friends. Do you know his family?"

The older man sighed heavily "We don't know about his family."

"He was raised in an orphanage," Light added.

"What orphanage?"

"We don't know."

"Is that so? Then is there anyone else to take him in?" Dr. Uramura held her face within her palms.

"No," Soichirou said, "But we will take him in. We're the closest he has to family." Light resisted the urge to burst out in dance. This was the best thing could happen to them—him. The brunet would be keeping his enemy close, and if anything happened, he would know immediately.

"He'll be released into your custody as of tomorrow. Ryuuzaki will need to visit the hospital every week so we can monitor his process."

"May we see him?" Light asked, standing up.

Uramura stood up and smiled. "Yes, follow me."

"Ryuuzaki-kun," the woman announced as she turned the knob and pulled the door open, "You have some visitors."

L removed his headphones and rose from the chair. The man had this swagger to his person, Light noticed and thought back of all the times L had strutted down with his slumped self. Except for the whole not remembering part, it was as though L had never seen into the eyes of Kira. The white gown limited his speed as he came to greet them. Light had accustomed himself to the jeans and white t-shirt with quarter-link sleeves; this L nothing of the like—it was strange.

"It's nice to meet you," L was cordial and asked, "What are your names?"

As L's attention set on him, Light realized he had been staring. How could he not? The man, his archenemy, was back from the dead, alive and kicking… it would take him some time to remember not to harass the man.

His insides tingled as a laugh moved up his throat. "You don't remember me?"

L blinked, confused. "Have we met before?"

Soichirou stepped forward, "Ryuuzaki, I'm Yagami Soichirou. This is my son, Light. You guys were good friends in college."

L put a finger to his lips. "Yagami? Then you must be the one who sent and locked me away in that funeral home."

"Ah!" Soichirou was shocked at the man's bluntness and felt embarrassed all of the sudden. L reacted as though he had said something innocent. "Ryuuzaki, I had no idea that you were still…"

"It is fine, Yagami-san," said L, his lips twisting into a cat-like smile, "Dr. Uramura has located the doctor who pronounced my death, and I have spoken with him myself. I did not tell him that it was I, though. I don't want any media attention."

Light nodded, realizing his foe would not just fall dead again. "You haven't changed at all."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

Faking sadness emanating from within, Light smiled weakly. "You really can't remember anything… can you?"

"That's not entirely true…," L corrected Light as he stared at him. Light's heart began to race, and he was seconds away from twitching from his gaze. "I remember that man that saved me—his name was Tokama. I'm very smart—or that's what I think. The doctors insist on advancing me through my tests. I also seem to know all these different languages yet—I can't really tell which ones I know, though."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Interjecting in his conversation with L, Soichirou said, "Ryuuzaki, you'll be moving in with us tomorrow. Is that okay with you?"

L went back to his seat and sat down in his crouched position. "Did I reside there beforehand?"

"No, you didn't."

"Then, where did I live?"

"In a dormitory on campus," Light said, "They gave up your dorm when they heard of the accident…"

L looked at him, confused as ever. Gently, he grasped his bony knees. "And of this accident...how did it happen? No one ever told me…"

Here came the difficult part; should Light tell him the truth or make a story until he was able to formulate a plan? Alternatively, could he combine the two options? A little bit of a white lie and the rest about what had happened to create a third option.

Light sighed and he ran his long fingers through his hair. "Well, this is what happened—your heart stopped and we rushed you to the hospital. The doctors that checked you said your heart had completely stopped and after an hour of them working on you, they pronounced you dead…"

L's eyes widened as Light tried to remain collected; he only had a few minutes of self-control left.

* * *

_(A/N): Ahem...(falls to the ground, bowing) THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU TALLYINTHEGREEN! Who is TallyInTheGreen, you ask? Let's just say that if she made me her bitch, I'd gladly wear that collar. She's my betareader, and the best one there ever fucking was! And I rarely use the 'F' word to describe someone. I basically gave her a hunk of meat, said good luck, and she turned it into this beautiful piece of gold. She deserves the most credit._

_  
I've been wanting to do a Death Note yaoi fic for a long time. I'm a really big fan of L (I have a shrine) but I was afraid to because he's a difficult character to write. I then decided to get a betareader. And I got the best damn one. Thank you, my master, TallyInTheGreen! Thank you!_

_  
Please review! Ja ne!_


	3. Chapter II

**Lost Memories Chapter II**

The tension floating in the air dissipated as the seconds passed on. L nodded, nibbling on his thumb. "What caused my heart to stop?"

"We're… not sure," bluntly, the older man said, shaking his head.

"Is there not a diagnosis the doctors have: a speculation?" Father and son shook their heads. The dark-haired man cocked his head to one side, pawing at his thoughts. "Tell me, Mr. Yagami, Light-kun, have I ever been charged with a criminal act?"

The men under L's questioning looked to one another. Both were surprised but...Light's skin crawled as his discomfort grew once again. "A criminal act?" Light Yagami paused, eyes widening. "No, I believe you have not. Why?"

Shrugging nonchalantly, L replied, "Kira might have tried to kill me, after all he kills criminals, and if I had been one… there would be another clue to my identity." The upper corner of Light's mouth twitched and his heart began to race. But how…?

"You see, I have media access, and this interests me." He motioned to a large pile of newspapers and the television they lay strewn on. Light glimpsed at the television set; a laughing man in a formal suit gestured to an audience, signs were waved from the audience. They read, 'Hail Kira', 'Justice' and other sayings supporting their cause—Kira. "I've read everything the newspaper has to offer, and all that I really get out of it is the recent news of 'The God of the New World, Kira'.

"Kira murders criminals—those who have done evil deeds. If I was—am—a criminal... I hope that this is some sort of 'second chance'. If I committed a crime, I wish to redeem myself." L held up a newspaper inches away from his body, his fingers spread apart; it was as though the newspaper were toxic.

Light's mind reeled as he tried to process what had just come out of L's mouth. If he behaved, Kira would forgive him—was that what L believed? Did he expect to get off by behaving? Was L acknowledging Kira as God? This new L, Light decided, was far opposite the old L.

"Ryuuzaki, Kira is a criminal," Soichirou exclaimed, "He's no God. He is nothing but a cold-blooded mass murder that needs to be captured."

"I assume you are one of the few who oppose Kira?" L asked, gazing at the man.

"Of course!" Soichirou took step toward the dark-haired man, "You, too, opposed him! We should all oppose him. The world doesn't need someone like Kira living. No one should be able to live peacefully until he is caught!"

"I don't believe I stated whether I support Kira or not, and I won't; I don't know what to believe." L turned the pages of the flimsy newspaper. "All I'm doing is searching for my identity. I brought up Kira because of my hypothesis. I had thought he might have been the one who tried to take my life.

"This article states that Kira's victims die from heart failure—presumably after Kira's judgment. Now, if I were correct, there would have been no reason for Kira to kill me, that is, if I was not some sort of criminal.

"Could it be that I opposed Kira? He would surely have those who openly opposed him to die." L's dark eyes set upon Light and Soichirou and he sent them an inquiring look. "Is that it? Did I do something to upset Kira?"

Soichirou slowly brought his arms to his chest, crossing them as he swallowed uncomfortably. Taking a cue, Light spoke. "It is true; you opposed Kira. He went after you, but obviously his attack failed. He must have made a mistake; that's why you're alive."

"Has anyone else ever survived a Kira attack?" L looked to the ceiling and stroked his chin.

"No one has survived, as far as we know."

"Why did I survive?"

_That makes two of us: why did you survive?_

* * *

Pounding a fist against the thick oak door of Misa's apartment, Light began to lose his patience. Moments later, the door swung open. A girl with a very voluptuous body held the door opening, leaning toward Light; her nightgown did wonders as they exposed her large breasts, a pink frilly robe hung from her arms.

She greeted him with a hug as she exclaimed in delight. "Oh, Light. I have missed you. It is so late. Why have you come on such a short notice--? OH! What a naughty boy, you want to do the naught—".

"Misa, we have to talk." Light pushed her off harshly and she tripped backwards, looking concerned.

Latching herself to his arm, she asked. "What's going on, Light?"

"Ehh? Did I hear Light come in?" Floating out from the corridor, Ryuk munched on a juicy, red apple. "It is you! Now I can get some good entertainment; this girl has been boring me for ages!"

"Ryuk-sama!" Misa snapped at him, "Light had a bad day. What happened? Tell Misa all about it." She led him to the large, red plush couch, pushing him to sit as she removed his jacket and began massaging his shoulders.

"Ryuk," Light began, his eyes narrowing as he gazed up at the large-mouthed Shinigami, "Is it possible for someone to survive death once their name has been written in the notebook?"

"What? You should know the answer to that already, Light!" Ryuk shook his head and crossed his arms, laughing maniacally. "Once someone's name is written in the Note, it's done! He is dead—end of story!"

"Has anyone ever come back to life?" Light questioned, leaning back.

Ryuk cocked his head to the side. "No one can come back from the dead. Once your name is written in the Death Note, you can kiss your life goodbye."

"Why are you asking such questions, Light?" Misa mumbled as she nuzzled against his neck.

Light leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands clutching his face. "L is alive."

"What?" Misa and Ryuk backed away from Light, shock and disbelief running through their minds.

"He's alive, I said," Light spat venomously as he grit his teeth, "Good thing he has amnesia; he can't remember anything. Imagine, we could have been thrown in jail by now—"

Light sat up and gazed at Misa. "I need you to do something for me."

"Oh, Light! Right now…?" Batting her eyes, Misa blushed and brought a nimble finger to her lip.

Ignoring the woman's desires and misunderstanding, he crossed his arms. "Have you remembered his name?" She shook her head, devastated, arms falling between her legs, limp. "As of tomorrow, L—Ryuuzaki will be living with me. I need you to stop by, and I will introduce you to him. This time, be sure to remember his name. You'll be staying for dinner…"

Grinning like mad, Misa jumped from the sofa and hugged Light. "He shall commit suicide because he is frustrated with himself and his inability to remember who he is."

Misa nodded exuberantly. "I'll do anything you ask, Light. L—I mean, Ryuuzaki— will be dead by Friday!"

He smiled and kissed her, rewarding her with passion. "Good girl, Misa."

She snuggled up to him, a large smile plastered on her face. Ryuk then chuckled heartily. "What so funny, Ryuk? Care to inform us?"

The Shinigami shook his head as he continued with his tirade of noise. "It's just—humans are so interesting." He disappeared into the kitchen where he presumably retrieved another red apple.

* * *

Maura Uramura's private life was sad, as it was boring. She was divorced, had been for three years, her only child had decided to live with his father in Hokkaido, and she did absolutely nothing on her free time. Anything she did had to do with her patients; she was not very social unless conversed with her fellow coworkers or the hospital's patients.

At home, the woman felt alone and awkward and did nothing but watch television or eat. Now, as she zoned out, thoughts of Ryuuzaki made her home feel welcome and alive, warm, and she did not feel so alone.

He had only been a patient for no less than two days, and by no means was he someone that needed protecting, but when the man sat in his chair, hunched over, she had an urge of reprimanding him. The motherly instincts she had rarely used and pushed away bubbled within her, wanting to burst at the sight of Ryuuzaki; he looked no older than her boy, Shou. Ryuuzaki's age was still unknown to her, but if she had to guess, she would say he was in his late teens or mid-twenties.

No matter how much her body nagged her to pull the blankets over her face, she could not sleep. Ryuuzaki-kun could have trouble sleeping, and with all that trouble, he would remember something from his past; how could she sleep when that was a possibility?

Rubbing her temples to relieve her pounding head from stress, she only managed to blur her vision. Maura tried convincing herself of two things: she had to get sleep, and no matter what, she was not Ryuuzaki's mother.

Glancing at the wall clock, she groaned, rolling over. Sleep would not come easily to her that evening or any evening for a long time.

* * *

As the sun peeked out from behind his curtains, his alarm blared, but Light decided to lie still, staring at the ceiling. It was very unlike him; he was the early riser in the family, beating the alarm to morning. His body felt heavy—numb—and his mind was fuzzy, shaking of sleep. He rolled over and sat up.

So, L was back, yet it was not really him anymore, was it? With his memories gone, the man's only identity was Ryuuzaki. He was no longer L; that man was dead. Light pulled lazily at his hair, thinking… What if he started to remember? He had to keep L from recovering his knowledge of Kira, at all costs. Light was free as long as L fought his amnesia.

Heading downstairs, he hurried along, catching view of his mother. "Good morning, Light," his mother greeted him as he entered the kitchen.

"Good morning, Mom." Tenderly, Light kissed his mother on the cheek as he sat down at the table.

He had no classes scheduled and the sooner he ate, the sooner he would be able to see L.

Picking up the morning paper, he skimmed the headlines as his mother brought him a bowl of rice and eggs. "Any classes today?" she asked and Light tended to responding with a 'no'.

"Your friend…" she began, rubbing her hands. "...your father told me about him—Ryuuzaki was it?"

She paused, handling the sink faucet. Running her hands through the steaming water, she sighed. "How dreadful… I cannot imagine having to go through that. He must...he must be upset. Light, promise me you'll help him as much as you can, okay?"

Smiling, Light nodded. "Did dad explain the living arrangements?"

She answered, nodding vigorously. "We discussed it. We do not have a guest room, and I really don't want him to feel uncomfortable on the couch..."

"I can move the futon into my room. Then, I'll be able to keep a closer eye on him," he suggested. He knew his mother would agree, and then L would be all his to corrupt.

Delightfully, Sachiko smiled, cupping her cheek. Then, rambling, she said, "What a great idea. I will make sure to get him some blankets and anything else he might need. Oh, I could search for some tips on amnesia on the computer…"

Light chuckled, standing and walking toward the door. "Mom, you don't know how to turn on the computer, let alone use a search engine. You leave that to me, all right?"

* * *

He dreamt of nothing, no dreams or nightmares, slept deeply for hours on end, rested after memorization tests, was fed oatmeal and other tasteless runny foods by the nurses, and it was all humiliating. No one really did all these things, and he felt belittled every time someone would ask how he was feeling. It surprised him how he could not even hold a spoon, experimenting the feel of the cold metal surface between his fingers.

That morning, after discovering sleep did not affect his amnesia, he watched television lazily, waiting for Dr. Uramura to visit him.

When she did enter the room, she did so smiling. "Good morning, Ryuuzaki-kun." Ryuuzaki smiled politely, greeting her.

Flipping through the clipboard by his bed, she spotted him peeking, and swatted him jokingly. "Today, you are scheduled for an MRI. I'll see if they are ready for you, all right?"

Slowly, she turned to the door and left Ryuuzaki to his moving pictures and his questions; a pretty girl with sparkly-blonde hair with a high-pitched voice was advertising cookware. Honestly, he had no idea what an MRI was and what one was used for.

Dr. Uramura came back within minutes, pushing a wheelchair; she insisted he sit. He was not physically disabled, so he declined and walked alongside her, embarrassed. Ryuuzaki noticed his doctor was concerned with his hunch; maybe that was why they always brought along a wheelchair.

"We should check you for scoliosis. That may be the problem—"

"What's that?" he inquired, hunched against a metal wall in the large elevator.

She set her sight in his direction. "It's when your spine curves in an 'S'-like shape, and if the curve becomes too severe, you may need a brace to hold your body in place or surgery, not that you have it, but if you did. It's common amongst children and young adults…"

Straightening himself, Ryuuzaki stood tall, adding two inches to his build. Hastily, he ran his hand along his back. "It doesn't feel like it's curved."

It did not shock her; she had a feeling he hunched over purposely. "You shouldn't stand like that. It is bad for your posture. At times, if you don't take care of how you stand or sit, your spine aligns itself to however you hunch your back, leaving it hunched permanently."

Ryuuzaki placed a finger upon his lips. "Is that so?"

The elevator doors opened and Uramura led him toward the CT scan room. Glancing over at the man, she noticed Ryuuzaki walked alongside her, hunched over.

As they walked, Ryuuzaki felt a tinge of anger flow through him; he knew she was great at what she did, but she never explained a thing until it was too late. It bothered him; the first time he was sent out for X-rays, Dr. Uramura had waited until he was lying on the cool, metal surface, a machine pointed to his chest. He would only admit that he was scared if he was asked to do so, especially since the doctors exhibiting the X-ray wore heavy vinyl vests, as to protect themselves. And from what? It had been very scary, like they were going to experiment on him; he could not help but feel paranoid. He did not now how most things worked since he didn't remember anything.

He allowed himself to be led into a room with another strange machine; it was the shape of a large, metallic cylinder on a stand of some sort. With a switch of a button, he noticed a table slowly emerge from out of the center of the machine.

"All you have to do is lie down on this machine; head here, legs there," she instructed.

He obeyed and climbed onto the table. The table felt like the one from the X-ray room; cold enough to suck all the warmth from him, and the gown he wore did nothing to help with the cold. As he placed his head on the small pillow left for him, anxiety filled him and his stomach churned uneasily. He was alone and feared for what was to come. Why did she leave? Where did she go? He thought frantically…

Her voice then filled the room, bouncing against the white walls, and hitting his ears numbly. "I need you to stay still."

Gazing to his side, he spotted a large, dark, glass-like window; he wondered if that was where she had gone to. He hoped he was right. He could not bear to think she had left him alone. Obeying his doctor, he lay still, fighting to urge to move his legs.

As he began to relax, his muscles growing heavy, the machine gave a loud screeching yell; a sound of grinding metals soothed by a decibel, gawking with irritation. Ryuuzaki jumped slightly as the table vibrated and he entered the cylinder's belly. Assortments of red and yellow lights flashed down upon him, blinding him. He closed his eyes.

The sounds continued to echo in his ears and he soon become sensitive to it, his skin crawling. His hart rate quickened and he made as to run away from the room as soon as he could. But, now he had to calm down and he did so by breathing in deeply, inhaling through the nose. Every breath he took brought him a step closer to hyperventilating. Slowly, the lights blinding him dimmed and he dared open his eyes.

The machine buzzed… Spine-tingling sensations surged through him, beads of sweat developed underneath his shaggy hair and upper lip, and he felt as thought he had to move. His body trembled under the pressure as he tried to stay still; it felt as though he was being stabbed with tiny needles.

Then, he heard a click coming from somewhere, anywhere. He snapped, jumped off the table, and sprinted out the door unfashionably, tripping over his own feet. He heard them call after him but he continued to the elevator.

Someone was chasing him down the hallway and he sped up, reaching the tall, silvery door. Without stopping, he jumped on his feet, anxious for the door to slide open. I did, and he threw himself in, frantically pushing buttons. The door closed as Dr. Uramura's face came into view.

_Now_, Ryuuzaki thought,_ if you are willing to leave me alone, leave me alone now. Please…_

* * *

To become L's friend would be a cinch. Light left his home feeling fidgety and impatient. He would not wait for his father any longer; he had to go to the hospital and bring L home.

Before reaching the hospital, he spotted a Western-style bakery and bought a strawberry cheesecake. It would surely please L.

Upon entering the hospital, he signed and requested on seeing L.

"Yagami-kun?" A woman called out to him. She peered at him from behind black-rimmed glasses. It was Dr. Uramura.

Light recognized her immediately and smiled politely. "I was just on my way to visit Ryuuzaki." As to emphasize, he held up the white box containing the dessert.

"I'm glad you're here," she began, removing her spectacles, "I was going to call. You see, this morning Ryuuzaki had an issue with his MRI scan. It seems that he has some anxiety issues, it is common in patients with amnesia, and they are in need to fixing. Please, try to see what is wrong… He didn't want to talk to me…"

Puzzled by the development, he nodded slowly, thinking it over. "Alright, no problem. Thank you."

Dr. Uramura directed him to Ryuuzaki's room; the door was closed, and Light wondered if he should knock. He decided to peek inside and called out to its occupant.

A reply then came, granting him entrance. Light shut the door behind him.

L stood at the room's window, looking out. He turned to face Light. "Light Yagami, correct?"

Light nodded. "Yes. How are you doing?"

"Still can't remember a thing," he answered as he sat down, slumping over, and clutching the wooden chair's metal legs. Light sat on the edge of the bed as L's shoulders perked up. Having smelt the dessert, he looked up at him curiously. "What do you have there? It smells very delicious."

"It's strawberry cheesecake. You'll like it," he stated as removed the cheesecake from its box. The cake was cut into pieces and he handed one piece to L.

L scraped one of the decorative icing flowers with his finger and then experimentally licked it. Light watched him closely to see his reaction.

Soon after, L's eyes lit up; the dessert was the best thing he had ever tasted, especially after the tasteless hospital gruel. It made his mouth water and the taste danced on his tongue. He picked up a fork from inside the box and stabbed a piece off. He put it in his mouth, and thought, _Oh, delectable!_

He jabbed his fork into the strawberry sauce and licked it off. _Scrumptious! _He consumed more and more of the delicious pastry until he heard Light chuckling.

He looked up and his cheeks flushed; he had embarrassed himself for eating like a pig when he knew he should not have.

Ryuuzaki put down his fork. The heat continued to rise to his cheeks, and he mumbled an apology.

Light smiled and shook his head. "You have a little something here." He scratched the side of his mouth to show where the icing was.

L wiped his mouth with his sleeve, childishly. "Did I get it?" he asked.

Light was honestly amused, chuckling at the man; L's cheek was still smeared with the icing. "Not quite. Here." He leaned over and wiped the mess off with his thumb, licking it afterwards.

L said 'thank you' and Light sat back down. He pierced a whole strawberry with a fork and held it up for Ryuuzaki. "Try this. Tell me if you like it."

L leaned forward with his palms on the bed and bit the strawberry off the fork. He chewed on it slowly, and then swallowed. A cat-like smile spread over his lips. "It's very good."

Watching L finish off the cheesecake, Light realized he had bonded with him and created a friendship. From then on, nothing would stop them from becoming close. He would have L in the palms of his hands, eating from them.

* * *

_(A/N): Many many thanks to my beta TallyInTheGreen for doing this chapter when she is very, very busy. Here it is, chapter two! Yay! Next chapter: Light takes L home!_

* * *


	4. Chapter III

**Lost Memories III**

Light felt safe as he conversed with L. No criticism or sarcasm was used as they offered each other an ear. The man had decided to stay with L, and to his surprise, he found that he was no longer being tested. If he still was, it did not feel like it as topics like the weather and L's incident rose to the surface.

"I couldn't help myself," he said, delicately running a long, slender finger through the small traces of strawberry sauce at the bottom of his plate, "… and the only thing I could think of doing was leave. So I did."

Light nodded. "It sounds like you had an anxiety attack."

"Anxiety, eh?" L looked at him with curious eyes and then averted his eyes down to the plate. The brunet knew L had to be embarrassed. Then, shyly, he asked, "Have you ever experienced an anxiety attack?"

Before L had asked his question, Light had known he was going to ask it. Moreover, he knew what answer L wanted to hear but he did not feel like lying. "No, but my little sister used to when she was little."

Licking his finger, L nodded. "I see."

* * *

He drummed his fingers impatiently across the surface of the metal table, the beats echoing through Headquarters rhythmically. The guilt spread further as he sat there, straining to keep a straight face and eyes away from his colleagues. After all they had gone through, Soichirou had not a clue as in why he was keeping such a secret from them. That day was the set day for L's funeral but he had let the news on his…'revival' slip his mind.

"What do you want us doing to prepare for the funeral?" Aizawa asked.

His voice surprised Soichirou; the taskforce did not know anything that had happened as of the last three days. What was he to say to them?

After stalling for not more than a couple seconds, he said, "I went ahead and buried Ryuuzaki. I thought it would be best to bury him in secret."

Strange looks surfaced the men's features but no one dared question him further; the chief did everything that held the best interest of everyone. Soichirou glanced to his side, spotting Mogi nod in agreement. The men disperse slightly as Matsuda came to his side, taking the empty seat at the corner of the table; guilt continued to weigh down upon his shoulders.

Matsuda said nothing, his face long and grim. Soichirou hated himself for lying to the youngest man on the group; he had respected L, looking up to him. L was Matsuda's idol. L had been like a second son to Soichirou. L's death had hit everyone with a different intensity but everyone knew his death had influenced Soichirou and Matsuda the hardest (exempt Light; he had fooled the entire taskforce and led them to believe he had lost a brother).

Standing up cautiously, Soichirou felt heavy as eyes darted toward him with the screeching of his chair. "I must be going now. I'll be back tomorrow."

No one tried to stop him as he grabbed his coat and walked out the door.

As he reached his car, an old habit seemed to come knocking; he began to crave nicotine. Since the moment Sayu had been born, he had promised himself that he would never smoke. The nerve-twitching sensation had welcomed itself back the day L had been found.

It was not that the whole situation bugged him or made him feel tense and insecure. No, it was that he was lying to everyone. That triggered his addiction.

He was more than happy to have L back. The little voice inside his head told him to be happy even when he began to worry about his amnesia. His fatherly instincts always tapped into his conscious, leaving him reminders of the new life Ryuuzaki would have as he left his alias of L behind.

As he started the car, pulling out of the driveway, he set his mind on helping L retrieve his memories. As to how he would do so puzzled him; he could not tell him about being L and his struggle against Kira. Soichirou had tried or he had wanted to the day he visited Ryuuzaki in the hospital, but he could not bring himself to it. The moment, Soichirou realized, he informed Ryuuzaki of his alias and accomplishments, his aura of a leader would return and with that, his loner-like personality. Ryuuzaki, now, had a clean slate. Soichirou could mold him into a better person.

He was like a child; he could not stand up to the big, bad world, let alone the most dangerous being in it. That day he had visited him, Ryuuzaki's eyes had shone with the arrival of someone he used to know, unlike the dull, blank gaze he had trained himself to keep. He had seen worry and the confusion of new information he had to archive.

It was true; he could not imagine what Ryuuzaki was going through. Those doctors and nurses surrounding him could not help him with the questions he had; not one of them would know how to respond or what to respond with. For the longest time, as he had been informed, L had kept his identify a secret, so no one would know of his identity.

It surprised him—how little he and the taskforce had uncovered. Ryuuzaki had done a wonderful job. He had been set on making it difficult for anyone to know anything about him. Luckily, Light had accomplished a thorough collection of data surrounding Watari. The man's name was Quillish Whammy. He had established an orphanage that only brought in gifted children somewhere in England.

What Light had deduced and shone upon them, Ryuuzaki could have come from said orphanage. Soichirou wondered whether to enlighten Ryuuzaki with that information.

Cars zoomed by him, leaving him sitting at a green light. Honks echoed around his ears. _Later_, he thought glumly. _It is too soon and it will come as a shock if I tell him now..._

Then rang the nagging voice of his conscious, of the investigator. _You are just trying to protect him when you know it is not your place to do so. You have a responsibility to the boy._

"I will tell him," he stated, voicing his idea aloud.

_When?_

"When the time is right."

_So in other words, you're going to wait as long as you can until you've got no choice but to tell him_, said the investigator, causing Soichirou to shudder involuntarily as he let out a deep sigh.

Earlier, Light had called him, informing him that he was with Ryuuzaki so he could head to the hospital, and they could take Ryuuzaki home. Unfortunately, that only deepened Soichirou's distress; it was as though they were bringing home a puppy.

Thinking back to questions, the grey-haired man began to fidget with the steering wheel as he turned a sharp corner. He realized there would be a time where Ryuuzaki would ask whether he had a family or not. It saddened him that he would not be able to give him a straight answer.

It reminded him of the time Sayu had asked where babies came from. How would he explain anything Ryuuzaki asked? The comparison was ineffectual to the situation though, Soichirou realized; he knew where babies came from and he could twist the truth to his liking but with Ryuuzaki, he had nowhere to start. The only clues he had concerned Whammy's House, and the very first time he had met Ryuuzaki (back when he was L) and Watari had informed them they had flew in from America…

He reached another corner, spotting a liquor store and felt his hands crawl about. Very easily, he could steer into the parking lot, walk into the store and buy a pack of cigarettes. However, he didn't give in. He bit his lip, averting his gaze, remembering to keep the promise he had made to Sachiko fourteen years ago.

* * *

Displeased as ever, Ryuuzaki wished he could disappear. He was embarrassed that Light had had to bring him clothes to change into; a pair of khakis, a black t-shirt, a thick coat for the winter winds blundering outside and even underwear awaited him as Light stepped outside to call his father once more.

L walked into the bathroom and shut the door. He stood restlessly in front of the tiny mirror and inhaled the intoxicating fumes of disinfectant. Tracing the outlines of the vague bags under his eyes with a long, crooked finger, L sighed deeply, forgetting that he wouldn't be able to recognize himself as someone other than a stranger. His finger trailed down the straight bridge of his nose, dipping down into his cheeks and further down to his narrow chin.

He turned very upset as he gazed directly into his eyes, yearning for the sharpness and brightness of Light's within his own dark orbs; he could barely distinguish a border between his pupils and iris. His obsidian eyes were as blank as his memory.

A strand of black hair fell from its place and L screwed his eyes shut. His dark, unruly hair was another of his many traits he did not wish to harbor. When he tried to comb it down, he only succeed in making himself look silly and ruffled it back to it's original unruliness. There was nothing amusing about his hair and it angered him to have something so stationary limit him from looking less than perfect.

Awkwardly, L inhaled deeply, opening his eyes slowly. "You are Ryuuzaki," he stated toward his reflection.

"You are Ryuuzaki. You are Ryuuzaki." He continued to chant his sort of mantra in hope of something important hitting him. However, nothing clicked. The piece would fit within his empty puzzle but, it was the first and it seemed to belong in the middle; the piece was jagged and had no straight corners.

The piece to his so-called life made no sense, yet, he knew it had had to at some point. "You are Ryuuzaki. You are Ryuuzaki."

As he finished buttoning his pants, he left the bathroom, walking into his room, pulling himself far away from his image. Surprisingly, Ryuuzaki found a pair of shoes sitting on his unmade bed. He put them on, discovering something new—he did not like shoes. They cramped his toes and with each step he took, he felt heavier than he did the prior step.

Stepping out of his room, he shoved his arms through the large over coat, smelling the muskiness of it. If the look of it didn't reassure him, the smell surely told him it had had been in storage for a long time. He wondered why but, then again, he could not image a person like Light wearing something as such.

Conclusively, Ryuuzaki concluded that it must have belonged to Soichirou.

Outside, he spotted Light flipping through a magazine lethargically. Almost instantly, Light's head shot out from behind the magazine and he stood up, smiling at Ryuuzaki.

"Dad's waiting in the car," he said, and Ryuuzaki nodded shyly.

"Do you have everything?" Light asked, straightening the creases of his coat. Ryuuzaki knew he had not left anything because, well, he had nothing. Not a single possession.

Following the brunet into the elevator, the metallic doors closing behind the, he bid the hospital's whitewashed walls and nauseatingly clean room farewell. He would not be seeing them again. Honestly, ever since the incident with his MRI, he had anticipated his leave; he really disliked the rooms, crabby old nurses, and runny food. However, the idea of entering a whole new world and living in it scared him. But, lucky him, he would have the Yagami family help him along the way.

Family; the word was so foreign and in ways nostalgic it made Ryuuzaki zip his lips and prohibit himself from speaking it. It made his heart itch for… something.

The lobby peeked from behind the separating metal door s of the elevator and as he stepped out, someone called out to him.

"I wanted to say goodbye." It was Dr. Uramura.

Sending her a smile, Ryuuzaki nodded. "Thank you, Dr. Uramura. Have a nice day."

Catching him off guard, she wrapped her arms over his shoulders, around his neck. Unintentionally, Ryuuzaki stiffened, amusing Light. He watched curiously, remembering L as an isolated man with no intimate relationship with anyone.

Then, she pulled away. "Don't hesitate to call if you need anything, anything at all." Ryuuzaki nodded.

"Oh, and I have something for you." She dug through the giant pockets of her white lab coat, extracting a black notebook. "This is a journal. I want you to write down anything and everything you learn or might think you know about yourself. Or you can use it to record your day-to-day life. This will really help your amnesia."

Ryuuzaki took the notebook, gazing at its sleek black cover. Grinning awkwardly, he set his eyes unto his doctor. "Thank you."

She smiled and bowed politely. "Hopefully, I won't have to see you back again under such an unfortunate situation. Have a good life, Ryuuzaki."

He bowed in acknowledgement. "You too..."

Light and Ryuuzaki walked outside, heavy gray clouds perched above their heads. Wrenching the coat tightly around him, he bit his lip as the cold gusts of wind hit his face. His nose turned red in a matter of seconds. A large roundabout faced him as he spotted a single car rumbling in front, waiting.

"It's nice to see you, Ryuuzaki," the aging man greeted Ryuuzaki as his hand stroked the top of the car, suddenly scratching at a single spot of shedding, rusty paint.

"Likewise," he muttered, leaving the spot alone as he climbed into the heated car. Light crawled in beside him, leaving his father to the navigating. He needed nothing more than for Light to accompany Ryuuzaki in the back seat.

As the car accelerated, Light continued to marvel at L's inexperience in the world; he acted as though anything and everything that passed by was significant as he pressed his face against the window. It was as though L was trying to take everything in right then. No doubt that if Light were to roll down his window, L would surely stick his head out. Much like a dog in need of a leash, L scrambled to view out of Light's window.

Mesmerized by the tall buildings, Japanese advertisements, the people—whom felt it was necessary to give him confused looks-- and everything else in between, Ryuuzaki failed to notice his hand placed upon Light's shoulder. He was so preoccupied with sewing every detail of the world into his brain that he failed to notice a shudder pass through the brunet's features.

Adjusting himself in his seat, L settled after twenty minutes of travel and found the car slowly halting. Soichirou pulled in beside the two-story house with a beautiful green yard and a brick wall separating the yard from unwanted intruders. Ryuuzaki could only stare.

"It's not much but...," Light began, a small smile spreading. "Come on, let's get out."

Groping for the handle, Ryuuzaki threw the door open as he continued to stare. Suddenly, Ryuuzaki spoke out in English. "It's brilliant."

Light studied him long and hard until he, his father, and L reached the oak door. It was killing him, seeing L admire what he had when not that long ago, he had tried to take it all away. Light knew L had been on his ass, waiting for Kira to screw up. He was close enough to punch him; his hand twitched violently until he shoved it within his pocket. He let out a deep breath and shut his eyes.

As Soichirou scrambled to pull out his house key, the door swung open. A woman with short, brown hair who sported a cream-colored shirt and black pants grinned as she stepped to the side, waiting for the men to enter.

Sachiko called out to her son, embracing him as he removed his coat. "And this must be Ryuuzaki-kun." Then, she hugged the tall, dark-haired man.

"Ryuuzaki," Light said to L, "This is my mother."

He smiled and bowed politely as Sachiko released him. "It's nice to meet you."

Ryuuzaki's dark eyes wandered as he took in the site; the first room had lots of furniture and a large television sat at the center of the corner wall. Pictures hung from all of the beige walls; photographs of Light, Soichirou, Sachiko and a girl Ryuuzaki presumed to be Light's younger sister surrounded him.

"Sorry if it's a little messy," Sachiko said as she clapped her hands together. Ryuuzaki had not thought the house was messy at all...

"Make yourself at home, Ryuuzaki-kun. Here, let me take your coat."

"Where's Sayu?" Soichirou asked as his wife pecked his cheek, coats in arm.

"In her room," Sachiko stated as she turned to the staircase, leaning the railing. "Sayu, darling, come downstairs. Don't make our guest wait."

Bitterly, Light lifted his restrain and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. What an act his mother was putting; L had amnesia; he was not the damned Japanese President.

The sound of footsteps echoed as Sayu raced to the staircase. The girl Ryuuzaki had seen in most of the pictures ran down the stairs, stopping at the bottom step. She was cute, Ryuuzaki deduced as her brown hair bounced from side to side in its ponytail; her white blouse and pink mini skirt only proved his theory. She's definitely Light's sister...

As she spotted Ryuuzaki, Sayu blinked several times as if she had expected someone else. Nevertheless, even if she had been upset, she made a great attempt at masking it with a pleasant smile.

She tended to greeting him, "Hi, you must be Ryuuzaki. I'm Light's sister."

"Hello," Ryuuzaki muttered, looking away.

Then, jumping to Light's side, Sayu looked to her mother and smiled nervously. Sachiko gently placed a hand on dark-haired man's tense shoulders. "Why don't we sit down and have dinner? Ryuuzaki-kun, do you know if you like fish?"

Ryuuzaki's eyes widened for a slight moment as he struggled to find an answer. "I don't think I won't like it," he stumbled over his words, running a hand through is unruly hair. He, then, followed the Yagami family into the dining room. As Ryuuzaki went to sit, he made sure to mimic Light's posture; sitting in his usual manner would make a horrible impression.

Sachiko excused herself and walked into the kitchen, leaving them to retrieve their meal. A few moments of silence were shared between the four of them until Sayu cleared her throat and sent a smile toward Ryuuzaki.

"So, Ryuuzaki, tell me about yourself—" Say began innocently, forgetting about his amnesia.

Viciously, Light gave her a menacing glare and stopped as his father urged them to stop. Ryuuzaki had never felt so out of place, embarrassed. It was his fault they were arguing…

"I'm sorry, I forgot. I'm so sorry," Sayu said, covering her mouth.

The man wanted nothing more than to repay for their kindness so, he chose not to dwell on what had happened. He smiled softly. "It's alright. We all make mistakes..."

Moments later, Sachiko walked in with a tray holding plates of steaming white rice, fish and a variety of side dishes. Watching intently as the Yagami family readied their chopsticks, Ryuuzaki realized he had never been taught how to use Japanese utensils; at the hospital, he had eaten his food with plastic forks or spoons.

He glared at the chopsticks in his hand with deep concentration. He then glanced to his side; Light skillfully played with his utensils as he picked up clumps of rice. With difficulty, Ryuuzaki fumbled as he attempted to position the chopsticks. If he could mimic Light's grip on them, he could master it in no time but, the wooden utensils fell to the floor.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he bent down to retrieve them.

"That's alright, Ryuuzaki-kun. You'll learn in no time. Light will help you, won't you?"

"Actually," Light said, gazing at Ryuuzaki with an intense look, "It'd be best for him to use a fork for the time being, mom."

"Oh, we have dessert forks," Sayu stated, "I'll go get them—"

The doorbell rang, interrupting Sayu. The girl got up and ran to the door. Seconds later, her shrilly cry echoed to the dining room. "Misa-chan!"

"Sorry everyone!" came a high soprano voice, "Did I interrupt dinner?"

"Not at all, Misa. Why don't you join us?" Sachiko welcomed her warmly, standing to accommodate her guest with a plate of food. Soichirou glanced at his son, sending him a panicked notion. Playing along, Light frowned in surprise. His father hadn't a clue that his son had formulated a plan; having Misa stop by would make it all the better, knowing his mother would invite her to stay for dinner. Then, Misa would get L's real name and head out. Light would have L out of his hair forever; the plan was fool proof.

Misa Amane, clad in a black Lolita outfit and heels, bounced in. Her blonde pigtails cascaded over her ears as her bubbly aura emitted into the room.

Instantly, Ryuuzaki recognized her; he had seen her on television, on a cookware commercial back at the hospital. As her intense cerulean eyes met with his, he nervously smiled as she arched her eyebrows.

"Oh my God," she muttered, "It really is you."

Admiring her beauty, Ryuuzaki took no consideration to what he thinking or looking at. "I take you we've met."

Subtly, Light sent Misa glare and she snapped to attention. "Uh yeah, I'm Light's girlfriend."

"Well, it's nice to meet you again, Misa-san," Ryuuzaki stated, bowing slightly.

Though her eyes searched for an explanation, brow arched, she smiled brightly. "Likewise," she said.

Chairs did everything but shy away from the floor as everyone adjusted to the new arrival. Misa sat down, broke apart her chopsticks and dug in. Several times throughout dinner, Ryuuzaki had felt eyes upon him, scrutinizing gazes traveling the area around him. However, he chose never to meet those gazes, confronting the woman for her rudeness.

Animitsu, a type of chopped fruit, jelly, and sweet bean paste dessert was served once Sayu had cleared the plates away. It had not been as delicious as the cheesecake Light had brought Ryuuzaki but he ate it nonetheless...

Standing up, Misa yawned. "I should be going. Light, will you walk me home?"

"Of course," Light responded as he looked to his parents. "I'll be right back."

Suavely, he created a convincing scene as he groped for her hand. Linking his fingers with Misa's, he led her out the front door and into a neighboring alleyway.

"What's his name?" An excitement rose in his voice as he tightened his grip on her; an intensity in his eyes loomed to hers, searching for any answer.

Misa turned her head, blushing from the attention. However, she was upset and did not know what to expect as soon as he knew that truth. "Light, there might be something wrong with my eyes."

His anticipation plummeted as a knot developed within his stomach, twisting and churning. The brunet shook his head, disbelief fueling his confusion. "What?"

A nervous child would come to mind as the fair-haired woman nibbled on her glossy bottom lip. "My eyes, I think that maybe their powers are... fading... or something."

Overpowered by denial, Light pushed Misa against the alley's dingy wall, breathing deeply. "What the hell are you talking about, Misa?"

Arching her back against the wall, she began slowly, timidly looking to the man. "Light, I couldn't see his name."

As some believe their nature is to be violent, or not, Light had always believed he wanted to give everyone a fair chance and see what they had to say but, as his hand twitched, he only resisted slapping her. He slammed his hands upon the wall, covering her.

The pulse of his thumping veins echoed to his ears. His racing heart ached painfully for every breath he took. _How could it be_, he thought, _How could he not have a name? It's impossible._

"Are you positive?" he asked her, calmed after a matter of seconds.

"I checked. I didn't see a name!" Misa pleaded as she reached for his collar.

Pushing himself off the wall, he stood tall, inhaling deeply. Light brushed the tips of his fingers down his face as to relieve the urge to scream. Angrily, he turned away, cursing.

"Do you remember how I couldn't remember his name the day I was arrested?" Misa asked, grabbing his sleeve, forgetting her fear.

As a gentle breeze passed them, Light faced her once more as he gazed into her azure eyes. His eyes went wide as he inquired her what she remembered.

"Promise me you won't get mad at me—"

"Just tell me what you saw!" he snapped, grabbing her shoulders.

She winced and looked down at her feet. "I couldn't make out his name. It was blurry. I didn't realize it until I saw him again. Light, he doesn't have a name..."

The urge almost overcame him, the urge to shove her against the wall, hard. Then, he relaxed, shutting his eyes. "Ask Ryuk about it," he instructed. "Then tell me what he says."

Solemnly, Misa nodded without a second glance at the man's features. As soon as he took three steps out of the alleyway, he looked back to his house. The Yagami residence was the new home of Light's once worst enemy and Misa knew she had to help him.

_So...that bastard does not have a name? No, it is all right. I will just have to work on Plan B..._

* * *

Peaking from behind the horizon, the sun rose to wake the people of England. And, it surprised the man to know he might have been the only one up to admire the beauty of the rising sun.

Headmaster of Whammy's house, an orphanage, or institute, considered himself a lucky man to have a few hours of rest before the children woke to disrupt the peace. He sat behind his desk, gazing out through the window; snow blanketed everything in site. Roger knew the children would enjoy a day playing in the snow.

However, the man could not bring a cheery mood if surrounded by small laughing faces. It had been four days prior that brought him to a standstill; his cell phone caged him to sit at his office, staring deep into the white light forming the countdown. As though it would change everything, he recited a silent prayer urging the timer to stop.

If he was lucky, it would call for sudden stop in the blinking numbers. If he was lucky, this time would be like the last—a false alarm. Last time L's computer had been shut off had called for an immediate reboot within half a day. After today, Roger's hope would dwindle.

Roger knew once L's computer underwent a system deletion that a signal would be sent to his cell phone, setting a twenty-eight day countdown. Once, if it ever, reached zero, Roger would be certain of L's death.

23:14:08.39

* * *

Hope you enjoy! Kudos to my beta TallyInTheGreen. I worship the ground she walks on!


	5. Chapter IV

**Lost Memories IV**

There was no shortcut, no tricky little route, or way he could ever pull something so foolish; killing L would have to wait. He could not risk incriminating himself. Everything would have been easier if L would have just died the first time. Now, without a name, Light deemed that man as his one and only obstacle and without him, his master plan could be released, and that point, everything would fall into place like domino pieces. He didn't like it very much, but the idea of letting L live until a clear and concise plan was ready, was Light's only chance at ridding the world of L.

However, Light had to remember L was no less of a danger to him with his amnesia; he was still a large threat. That memory of his could pop by at any time of day and surprise them all, and then, Light would be convicted as Kira the moment L confronted Soichirou. How could he have acted so foolishly; mocking his rival at his defeat seemed like the right thing then. Light remembered L's eyes, the realization—he would remember. And he would not hesitate—Light's sorry ass would be thrown in prison.

Was there a possibility in which the moment L's memories returned he would no longer harbor hate for Kira: for Light? Why, of course. Why had Light failed to think about that before— that referring to the situation in which Light would have to do the unthinkable, unfathomable. He had to do it so L would want Light to be his side in such a case where the yearning would stop L from executing Light. Despite the ideas everyone else would get, Light would want L to want him. Sooner or later, Light would need L's actions to convince everyone, even he, that he needed, wanted, Light by his side. And it would be Light's only hope; Kira's only chance if he wanted to stay high up upon his perch. However difficult his mission, the meticulous planning and perfect timing, and the way he would soon sacrifice his pride, he was sure it would all fall into place. Like clockwork, Light would watch L dance around his palm, foolish and careless to anything but the newfound happiness.

The plan: Ryuuzaki, in no time, would fall deeply in love with Light.

L was going to fall in love with Kira.

Even then, as he thought on it, Light shuddered. It was ironic, see. But, it was common; of the deadliest rivals, there has always been room for relationships exceeding small friendships.

As the webs spin, the lies grow, and then the man will fall so deep that his love will deny him any logic. His common sense will lack its customary sheen and because of that, Light's plan would soon end with L's death.

There was no way Light would not execute his plan to the fullest. As soon as L got comfortable in his new life, it would be the end. Nothing could stop Light, Kira from creating the New World. Kira would be God.

His thoughts melted into something casually symbiotic as he felt a strong prickle run up his spine. The cold winds hit him full force as he forged a pathway back from the alley. Wishing he had thrown on a warmer coat, he wrapped his arms around himself.

A convenient store came into view and Light wondered whether test the belief in which stated a way to man's heart was his stomach. Light knew L still had his sweet tooth. A smile played across his features, and he hesitantly opened the glass door of the store. It did not take him long to find what he would purchase: a large bag of colorful hard candies and lollipops. With the bag of one-stop cavity-forming candies, he headed back home.

The door slammed shut as he walked into his house and removed his coat. The gushing warmth the house emitted pushed up against Light's face and body, heating his oh-so cold nose of his. Glasses clinked and Light presumed his mother was cleaning up, loading the dishwasher.

Walking up the stairs, he heard the faint whispers coming somewhere on the second floor. As he got closer to the whispers, the got louder, growing into a coherent conversation. He stopped a foot from his door, slowly, reaching for the door's knob.

He swung the door open and saw L sitting in his usual crouch on the little futon by his bed. The room had instantly appeared smaller with the futon's presence. Even then, with the addition of L's presence, his room emitted a dangerously high level of claustrophobia. He took a breath as he stepped into the room. He spotted his sister on his bed, her legs swinging merrily. It seemed like they had just been talking.

Again, his gaze went onto the man, and he noted he wore a pair of green pajamas. They were new; Light had never owned a pair like the one L sported, nor had he ever had green pajamas.

"Hey Nii-san," Sayu greeted him with a smile that suggested a smirk would soon spread. "Took you long enough. What were you and Misa talking about?"

"Shouldn't you be going to bed?" Light said, "You have school tomorrow."

"You're no fun!" Sayu pouted as she jumped off his bed and stomped her foot down. Then, she stormed out, playing the victim.

Casually, Light sat down, sending L a side-glance. Slowly, he opened the bag of sweets and offered them to L.

"Here." The pick of the lot appeared a red lollipop. "I got these for you."

L gave a childlike smile as he took the lollipop. "Thank you, Light-kun," he said.

He played with the wrapper, tearing it off and tossing it into the garbage bin. "Sayu was enlightening me on her school and friends," he said, casually.

Light chuckled tenderly, throwing the bag of candy onto L's futon. "My sister will talk to anything with ears. I'm sorry if she was a nuisance."

"She wasn't," L said, his lips smacking with the removal of the red lollipop, "It was interesting to hear about high school."

"You attend college, do you not?" L asked, licking his red lips.

"Yes," Light responded as he ambled to his dresser, searching for sleepwear.

"And you said I attended college with you?"

"That's right—"

"That is a lie, isn't it?"

Light paused, formulating a response. Silence fell and Light could feel L's obsidian eyes boring into the back of his head.

L was right, and he knew it; he broke the silence. "When you told me I attended college with you, I had Dr. Uramura try to retrieve my records. There wasn't a single Ryuuzaki attending the school at the time."

Then, Light turned to give him his full attention, flannel pajama pants in hand. L's face was stoic as he spoke. "And why is it that I only have one name? Even on my death certificate, my name is only as Ryuuzaki. What is my family name?"

Another pause ensued as the two looked at one another. A suffocating something lodged itself down his throat, and, slowly, Light's eyes bugged out as he tried to calm himself. L then spoke, "I don't have one, do I? Or is it that you don't know what it is?" Light felt as though he was being interrogated once again.

"I'm not stupid, Light-kun. Something is up. Why do I not have any records? Who am I?"

Light finally allowed the discomforting something to roll down his esophagus as he strode over to L's futon, lowering himself upon it. He leaned back against his own bed and sighed. "At school, you were Ryuuga Hideki," he began, "Hideki is not your family name, though, or so I believe. I cannot be sure though, you never told me. In the year we spent as friends, you were never very open…"

The brunet ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it, and sighed. "I think you left your identity a secret and moved to Japan, leaving your past behind for a new beginning." Light chose his words carefully; he did not want to hint to anything that might reveal Ryuuzaki to discovering he was really L.

"You never told me anything about yourself." L looked away. He sucked on his lollipop for a second the pulled it out, a pop echoing in the room.

"I see." He trailed off, leaving in a comfortable silence. Light was determined to break it this time but L spoke up first: "Light-kun, do you know how it feels? To wake up and not remember a single thing?"

"I can imagine it to be scary," Light answered honestly.

Ryuuzaki nodded. "Oh yes, it's terrifying. And after what you have just told me, there's very little chance I'll find out who I really am, since I lived a lie before this. My chances of getting answers are very slight. I might be stuck like this forever." He licked the lollipop. "Light-kun, I want to know more about myself, but now…"

Light stared at him. He had never really seen L like this. Without answers, out of control. Nothing to grasp onto. It wasn't L at all. He, the man sitting beside him, was Ryuuzaki. "After everything you told me just now…" His eyes, large and black, leveled the brunette's. "Do I really want to know? Do I really want to find out about myself?"

He had no idea on how to answer. It was too good to be true. He could have never imagined a day where L would want to question his prior knowledge and achievements in life. The man was eating out of the palm of his hand. Light had to wonder, could things really be going so smoothly?

If so, he had to seal it. To assure everything.

The brunet leaned in, placing a hand on Ryuuzaki's knee. He spotted Ryuuzaki blink in confusion. "Ligh—"

Light's lips gently pressed to L's timidly. Not too much pressure. He felt Ryuuzaki stiffen. Light pulled away, feigning embarrassment.

"I-I'm sorry about that," he stuttered, looking away.

Ryuuzaki touched his lips. "What was that, Light-kun?"

Light gazed at him. He really didn't know a thing. "It was a kiss, Ryuuzaki."

"Oh, I see." Light watched, amused as L's pale cheeks flushed with crimson heat. "And…why did you kiss me?"

Light swallowed and looked up at the ceiling. Forcing his cheeks to flush with color, he sighed in relief, as he knew his act was believable. "I guess I just, um…felt like it."

"Have we ever…kissed before?" He pronounced ever word slowly, as if it was foreign to his tongue.

"No, not before." The brunet scratched his nape. "I'm sorry that I did that. It was wrong of me."

Ryuuzaki was silent for a while. His lips were still tingling and his heart seemed to thump louder and harder. Why was that? Why was the action of their lips touching making him feel like this? "Don't be sorry, it felt…um…"

Light slowly turned his head. "Good?"

L meshed his lips together. The blush spread across the bridge of his nose. "Yes, it felt… good."

Light reached his hand out and cupped Ryuuzaki's neck. "Ryuuzaki," he said lowly. L swallowed. "Close your eyes this time."

He was gently pulled into Light's lips. The feelings returned when Light's lips were back on his. His eyes fluttered shut. His head seemed to be swimming, whirling; everything just seemed to melt away, except for him and Light. Light kept the kiss soft and slow. He could taste the artificial cherry flavors of the sucker on Ryuuzaki's lips. Who knew that L could be so warm? He smiled into the kiss.

Just as planned.

* * *

"You will fail."

Light looked at L who stood before him with his hands in his pockets. This wasn't Ryuuzaki. This was L: domineering, world's greatest detective, L.

"What do you mean?" Light asked, crossing his arms.

L's eyes bore into his. They were hard and fierce with the same look of nothingness just like how Light remembered them. "I mean, Light-kun— you will not win. When my memories return, I will win this little game. I will expose Kira for what he really is, and I will expose you for what you really are, and what you are, Light-kun, is evil…"

Light's eyes fluttered open. He was in his room lying in bed. It was completely dark, just the way he had left it. It had been a long time since he had a nightmare, if that dream even counted as one. A sound came from Ryuuzaki's futon; it sounded like a strangled cry. After a few moments, he heard it again—a dismantled moan. He propped himself up on his elbows and peered over the bed to see what was wrong but realized it would be pointless to check in the dark.

The painful sounds grew louder. He saw Ryuuzaki's silhouette shift under the covers. The smell of sweat wafted up his nostrils. He reached over and turned on the desk lamp, and the room grew bright in a dim yellowish glow.

He noted L had turned an ashen color. His pajamas were soaked in sweat, and his hair clung to his face. Soon, the covers were kicked off his writhing body. His chest was rapidly falling and rising, his face constricted in pain.

"…Aidez-moi…" Light heard him pant, "Aidez-moi…"

Light scrambled to Ryuuzaki's side and shook his shoulders. "Ryuuzaki," he called out.

"Aidez-moi. Aidez-moi," L continued panting. He was cold to the touch even though he was covered in sheen coat of sweat. "Aidez-moi. Aidez-moi. Aidez-moi…"

"Ryuuzaki!" Light shook harder as he tried to wake him, "Ryuuzaki! It's just a dream!" I think…

Suddenly, as though Light's persistence had reached the man, L's eyes opened wide, pupils dilated. The face of a terrified child gazed up at Light greedily wanting nothing more than reassurance from a familiar face; he was trembling. "L-Light?"

Light's brows furrowed together. "Are you alright, Ryuuzaki?"

Ryuuzaki inhaled deeply in attempt to gain composure and calm his shaking form. "Yes, I'm…I'm fine," he began. "It was just…just a nightmare."

"If you don't mind me asking…what happened in your nightmare?"

Ryuuzaki swallowed, his hearting pounding fiercely against his chest. "I was…" He licked his lips. "I was locked in the casket."

Light closed his eyes briefly. The dream had not been about Kira or L; he felt relieved.

"Except," Ryuuzaki said as he inhaled slowly, his shaking and pants gone. "There was a chain, I think, attached to my wrist."

Light could not restraint his eyes from widening. A chain—how could that be?

"Does that mean anything?" Ryuuzaki asked curiously in hope Light would enlighten him.

Light smiled, knowing he had the upper hand. "I think it was just a nightmare. Don't worry about it." Shit! Was he starting to remember the handcuffs? This wasn't good at all!

* * *

"Every human has a name," Ryuk stated as he hung rooted to Misa's ceiling.

"Well, he didn't!" Misa cried out, embracing her large pillow, "Is there any possible way for a human's name to… turn invisible to someone… or…not be shown… or—or… something?"

"Only if he possesses a Death Note," Ryuk said matter-of-factly and crossed his arms, "But I'm pretty sure that you and Light are the only ones with them, and Light's is locked up. Maybe you didn't look at him right."

"I looked right into his eyes, Ryuk!" Misa snapped.

"Then maybe you were too busy ogling at him."

"Oh shut up!" Misa rolled over on her back and looked up at the Shinigami as he gazed down at her. "Can't you go see him and then tell me his name? That way Light won't be mad at me anymore. Please?"

Ryuk floated down from the ceiling, jumping in a way. "Sorry, Misa, but it's just like I told Light— I'm not on anyone's side. I am just watching everything unfold. It's what I do for entertainment! Anyway, even if I wanted to help, I couldn't. The rules say I can't help the humans in any way, shape, or form."

"But you told Light where all those cameras were in his room," she protested.

"That had nothing to do with the Death Note— and he promised me apples. I wouldn't have done it if he hadn't bribed me."

Misa sat up, grinning. "Ryuk, I'll give you all the apples you want if you tell me Ryuuzaki's name." She fluttered her eyelids flirtatiously.

He shook his head. "Sorry, can't do it."

She groaned and flopped back down onto her stomach. "You are so mean, Ryuk-sama! I hate you!"

The Shinigami shook his head once again. "How does Light put up with you?" He floated back up to the ceiling, his arms resting behind his head. Though he stuck to his word, he could not help but wonder about L's survival and absence of name. He was curious. Ryuk could not even remember the man's name; he was unsure whether it was because he really did not have one (though that was very unlikely the answer) or if he had just forgotten it. If he was allowed to leave Misa's side for just a few hours, he could swoop down and visit Light's and see if the kid really did or did not have a name; however, because of the rules, he was stuck by Misa's side.

Damn, she was boring; Ryuk had realized this upon the first few hours in her presence. The perquisite about having to stay by her side was that she was rich and could, and did, buy him big, juicy, red apples. And, he had to admit, they were delicious. Just thinking about them brought a hunger to his stomach, if that was possible.

* * *

"What is it that bestows a person a name?" Light pondered aloud. He and Misa bundled within thick sweaters fighting the cold and sat outside. Invisible to the people walking around, Ryuk stood behind Misa, bordering boredom as he looked around. They were at his college but, because of the weather, everyone lunched indoors. Without a worry, they made attempt at whispering or keeping a low profile as they discussed Kira matters.

Shivering, Misa rubbed her hands together. "I thought you were born with a name and it stuck to you like glue." She cupped her hand over her mouth, breathing into them. "So, maybe, Ryuuzaki was never given a name?"

Light shook his head. "That's not what happened. I'm very sure he has a name. There are two things I'm worried about: the first reason being why you can't see his name." He bent back his pointer finger to count. "Even when someone possesses a Death Note, his name is seen. So even if by some reason unknown, he did possess another Death Note, Misa should have seen his name. We know that this is not the case. So why can't we see his name?"

"Maybe because he doesn't remember it," Misa piped up, "If you don't know what your name is, it might jeopardize what the eyes see."

Something clicked as Light balanced a pencil on a textbook. "But, didn't you tell me you remembered his name was blurry the last time you saw him? That you couldn't make it out?"

Misa leaned back in her chair, disappointed.

"So, if what you say is true, and his memory loss is the reason why his name is gone or blurred, then that would mean that L began losing his memory far before his death."

"What is the second reason, Light?" Ryuk asked, surprising them by including himself into the conversation, "You said there were two things that worried you."

Light leaned back. "Yes, there are two things that worry me. The first was the problem of L's name. We wouldn't have a problem if it weren't for reason two."

"Does the second reason involve Ryuuzaki coming back to life?" Misa asked as she rested her head on Light's shoulder.

He nodded. "Correct. We know that he died, or at least, we think he did." He searched inside his messenger bag, retrieved a sheaf of paper, and dropped in on the table beside him. "I did some research and discovered a few things. These are cases where people have been determined to be dead, only to actually be unconscious. Their hearts had stopped; their vitals had shut down, but, they were still alive."

Misa leaned forward, grasping onto the brunet's forearm. Her eyes went wide as she admired the first paper. "Could that have happened?"

Light shrugged, sighing. "It's a theory. However, since Rem wrote down L's name, his real name in the Death Note, he should have been as good as dead. Am I right, Ryuk?"

The Shinigami nodded his head and crossed his lanky arms. "Aye, you're correct."

"No 'what if's, and, or 'but's?"

"That's right."

Light ran his tongue over his teeth. "Then, maybe, Rem didn't write L's name correctly."

Misa cocked her head as he reveled in confusion. "How could she have written his name incorrectly?"

Popping his knuckles (a habit Light knew he had to stop soon), he began to explain himself to the blonde. "Answer this for me, Misa; when you see a Japanese person, do you see their name in Japanese?"

In accordance to the question, she nodded. "Do you see an American's name in Japanese?"

"No, it would be in American," she said.

"English," Light corrected.

"But wouldn't it be English if he was English?" Misa asked, blinking in confusion.

Light pinched the bridge of his nose, frustrated at her stupidity. "Anyway, let's say you see someone with an American name, but you write it in Japanese. The question remains with whether or not you would be able to kill them, right?"

They both turned to Ryuk. The Shinigami looked from the brunet to the blonde and back. "I don't know. A Shinigami writes the names as he sees them—I write names as I see them."

"Right…" Light sighed. He was far from satisfied with the answer, but expected it.

"What if Rem-san hadn't written his name at all, Light?" Misa asked.

He gave her a stern glare, reprimanding her for such a question. "I highly doubt it, though, it could have happened. Something had to have had triggered L to collapse; something happened that made him lose his memories."

His gaze remained upon Misa even as he addressed the Shinigami. "Ryuk, can the Death Note be used for anything other than killing?"

"No, that is why it's called a Death Note," he informed, a mocking tone floating in his voice. Then, he exclaimed, "I'm bored! Can't I get an apple or something?"

Ignoring him, Light asked, "So, there's no possibility in which Rem cause L's amnesia—?"

"What if she did?" Misa inquired, her voice ranging a high pitch, "What if she did make L lose his memories?"

Light found himself shaking in annoyance. "We just went over the fact that the Death Note only kills—"

"I know!" Misa interrupted, "But, I'm saying that what if she meant for this to be the way for him to die? Like, if I wanted someone to die from breast cancer. It would take months for the person to die of breast cancer, not in forty-seconds. What if Rem wrote for Ryuuzaki get some kind of illness that made him lose his memories and die from that? It would fit, wouldn't it?"

Light blinked, his eyebrows raised. Why had I not though of that? "You could be right." Surprised, Misa smiled, knowing she had down something right. Light was just as surprised, how could he have let that idea slip by? It was not like him to allow Misa to outshine him.

Deep in thought, Light chewed on the inside of his lip. "But something doesn't make sense. Watari died before L did; he had a heart attack. So, why then would Rem write down for L to die later when she herself was already going to perish? Why not just kill him right then just like Watari? It doesn't make sense."

Misa inhaled deeply, exhaling through her nose. "I'm all out of ideas— my brain hurts."

"Let's go back to my first question," Light instructed, spinning the pencil around his knuckles with talent, "What is it that gives a person a name? Scenario: A baby is born and the mother calls him Joshua. Mother dies, and Joshua is adopted and becomes Michael. What is the name that you would write down?"

"Joshua," Misa said without hesitation, "Because that's his birth name."

Light flipped through the stack of paper, located what looked like a tiny piece of paper, and showed it to Misa. "Remember him?"

Misa gazed at it in awe; it was a picture of an inmate from America. She remembered him, of course; his name was one of the few she remembered writing down, and the following day, had seen him on the internet, the story of his death revealed. "Yes, Michael Vorbeck. Convicted for child molestation and rape."

"He was born as Joshua Fairbanks," Light said, "So, if Joshua was his birth name, why did you see Michael Vorbeck as his name?" Misa opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She had no explanation.

"My theory is that what gives a person a name is whatever the person knows themselves as. I know myself as Yagami Light, therefore, if you were to write down my name, you would write down Yagami Light. You know yourself as Amane Misa, so your name is Amane Misa."

"So, when I saw L that first time in front of the school," Misa said, looking confused, "He didn't know who he was?"

"I don't think that's the case." Light paused; both Misa and Ryuk waited to see what his explanation was. "My theory is that L didn't see himself as his birth name or wouldn't. I realized this as I recalled our time handcuffed together; he told me that L was nothing more than a tool for Interpol. I believe that he thought himself as that. He does not see himself as a person, but as a tool used to solve cases. I think that is why his name was blurry when you saw him at the school; he was beginning to lose his identity. Now, there is nothing there because he has no identity. He doesn't know who he is—that's why we can't see anything."

"Light, are you trying to say that once he begins to believe he's Ryuuzaki, the name 'Ryuuzaki will appear above his head?" Misa asked happily. If it hadn't been Light's obsession of erasing L from his soon-to-be World, he would have felt it odd to be discussing about killing someone with such an cheery attitude coming out of either of them.

"However, he already knows he isn't Ryuuzaki," he said, pausing for a brief moment. Propping himself with his elbows, cupping his chin within his hands, Light continued. "It's an alias, and he knows it. He doesn't know he's L. However, I'm afraid it won't be long until he puts two and two together."

"But if Rem made L lose his memory, shouldn't his name be in the Death Note?"

"That's right, but the Death Note is locked up at Headquarters. It would be impossible for me to get to it without falling under suspicion."

"Then what do we do?"

The brunet took a deep breath. "L is gone now, and Ryuuzaki poses no threat to us at this moment. Killing him would be useless, so we'll keep him around." A smile spread over his lips. "Who knows, maybe he'll turn into a Kira supporter. However, I do want to do an experiment on the Death Note. Misa, try to find me two convicted felons who were adopted and whose names do not match their birth names. Do not write their names down in the notebook. Send me a text message that says you cooked dinner and you want me over. Got it?"

Misa nodded, an impish grin spread over her face. Light gathered his things and said, "I have to get to class." Then he leaned in for a kiss but realized it was far too plain compared to the kiss he shared with Ryuuzaki. He stopped, pulled back, and smiled. Then, he waved goodbye as he headed inside.

* * *

In order to occupy his time from Light as he attended school, Ryuuzaki took up reading. He was surprised that discover he could still read, given that he had actually read that amnesia patients usually could not remember. Of course, he had difficulty with some words so, naturally, he had a dictionary beside him as he read. Light's books were interesting, but they were mostly fiction; he needed facts. Sachiko passed by and Ryuuzaki noticed her do a double-take, smile, and continue on as she noted he was reading an encyclopedia.

Ryuuzaki admired Sachiko, liked her. She was a nice woman, a great mother; she even baked him cookies and gave him a glass of milk as he read.

"What are reading about now, Ryuuzaki-kun?" her voice reached him as she entered the living room.

He smiled, answering, "I'm reading about the first World War." He lifted the history book he had found in Soichirou's office. Sachiko smiled and turned away.

Dong went the grandfather clock. Dong.

Sachiko glanced upon it, another two 'dong's sprang from the clock. "Is it noon already?" She smiled once again, however, it faltered as her gaze set upon Ryuuzaki. "Ryuuzaki?" His eyes were wide and blank. The book dropped from his hands.

Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong, another sequence of chimes rang. His pulse quickened. That sound— the bells.

Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong.

Ryuuzaki gave a shout and gripped his head as a searing jolt of pain shot at his temples. Flashes of light blinded him.

"Ryuuzaki-kun!" Sachiko jumped to his side and embraced him in effort to comfort him. "Ryuuzaki-kun! It's okay, I'm right here."

Her words were incomprehensible. Swirling visions—his memories!—enveloped him, but, they moved too quickly and moved as a blur; like someone had selected the fast-forward button and applied them to his life. He understood nothing, and the more time he tried to, the excruciating pain only increased.

Why would they not stop long enough for him to see? He had to see— "Stop!" he shouted at the flashing images, "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" He pulled at his hair.

Sachiko ran into the kitchen, retrieved the phone and the card for Ryuuzaki's doctor, and dialed the number, hands shaking. In the living room, he screamed and thrashed. Finally, someone answered her call.

"I need to speak to Dr. Uramura immediately!"

"This is she."

"There's something wrong with Ryuuzaki! I don't know what's going on! He keeps screaming, and I think he's in pain!"

"I'm sending help immediately. Your address?"

Sachiko told her the address, hung up, and went back to Ryuuzaki's side. This time, she did not touch him. The woman was unsure on what to do. All she could do was place her hand over her mouth and watch tearfully as Ryuuzaki thrashed and screamed, "Stop! Stop !". What was she supposed to do?

Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong.

* * *

(A/N): All right! We're getting into the yaoi! Just to let you know, the rating will change to mature in later chapters. If you don't like, I advise you stop reading after this. Or you can skim the parts you don't like. I hope you like it. Also, major thanks and kudos to my awesome beta-reader, TallyInTheGreen; without her, this chapter would suck.

--And for those wondering, "Aidez-moi" should mean "help me" in French. I used an online translator, so if it is wrong, please tell me. I would like to thank everyone who has helped me with the translation. For those wondering, L is calling out to anyone to help him. Not Light alone. Thank you!

--There is also another story with the same plot--L has amnesia-- called "Memories" I believe. I have yet to read it, but I might in the future. I don't want to read it yet as I am hoping to not accidentally take any ideas from his/hers story.

Ja ne!


	6. Chapter V

**Lost Memories V**

Special Agent Amy Cortez was fond of snow, always had been. Growing up on the good side of England had produced wonderful memories of Christmas card-like snowy housetops, snowmen, and snowball fights. Even if she had been an orphan, her childhood had been good; upon hearing the words 'orphan' or 'orphanage', people assumed her life had been like the movie "Annie". Luckily, she could laugh and remember that it had been much different.

At sixteen, she had moved to the States to attend school. By eighteen, she had secured a position within the FBI. Now, at twenty-three years of age, she was a special agent working under Interpol, living in Boston with a respectable husband.

She had always wanted to return to England and see her old home, but she had wished it under better circumstances.

Standing in Roger's office brought a pain of nostalgia to her chest. A door shut, and she turned to find Roger smiling warmly; she smiled back.

Roger embraced her in grandfatherly manner. "Amy, it's so good to see you again. You've grown into a beautiful woman, my child."

"It's good to see you too, Roger," she responded unnervingly. Amy cast her eyes out the window where children bundled in winter clothing were playing, disturbing the peace and innocence of the falling powder. "How far along is the countdown?"

Roger pulled his cell phone from his breast pocket and glanced wearily at the glowing screen. Amy suspected it had only been a formality on his account; he need not the technological reminder, he already knew how much time had passed. "It's on nine days now."

"Roger," Amy alleged with a sympathetic look, "Certainly, you have to believe that he would have already returned if he were alive. It's been nine days!"

The old headmaster nodded his head, defeated; he understood and knew his hope was foolish. "I know. I have already come to terms with this."

"Well, I suppose you still have something for me to do, even with your understanding. Could you not have just phoned me if you wanted me stationed in Japan? What do you want me to do?"

Roger licked his lips, the wrinkles around his mouth tightening, his eyes peering at her over the ledges of his round spectacles. "I need you to find his body and bring him back… so we can give him a proper burial."

Amy crossed her arms rigidly and shifted her weight to one foot. "I really hope you expect me to _try, _not succeed. It will be difficult, you know, Roger. Anyway, don't see the need--it's not as if his tombstone is going to say 'Here Lies L'."

"There is one man whom Quillish spoke to me about," Roger stated, situating himself upon the plush chair behind his desk, "He's the chief of the Tokyo P.D. Yagami Soichirou is his name. I believe he is the one who buried both L and Mr. Wammy."

She nodded her head and looked out the window, hearing the laughter and shouts of children. "What about L's successor?"

"They are too young right now," informed Roger. Amy wondered whether the successor was one of the many outside enjoying himself.

No, there were more than one; Amy turned to look at him, inquiring, "They?"

The old man nodded in response and continued with explaining, "Two of the top boys—L felt they worked well together, or would if they learned to cooperate. However, neither of them knows they have both been selected as his successors."

Amy sighed, tilting her head to the side. Falling into a comfortable silence, the grandfather clock ticked without disruption. Then, she spoke."It will take me a few days," she assured Roger, "to get to Japan. I will first have run it through my supervisor."

"I'll do anything I can to help," Roger solidified his superiority.

Amy smiled. "I'll call you if I need anything." Roger rose from his chair and they embraced one last time. "Goodbye, Roger."

"Take care, Amy."

* * *

He rushed to the hospital upon his mother's call. If it hadn't been for the phone call, for his insecurity and the imposition of knowing L's memory could return at any time of the day, any time it felt like it—he would have arrived home as planned. But, no, when his mother had explained that L's memory might have returned, he had to make sure he was there, to solve and settle any problems he may have. Light was not worried about L; really, he had to worry about his own safety.

He slipped on a sheet of ice and fell painfully on his back. He cursed, hissing through clenched teeth; he got up and painstakingly ignored his sore buttocks and bruised dignity from the remainder of his trip to the hospital. With every intake of breath, his lungs screamed in agony for each breath felt like searing knives or icicles tore through his flesh and organs.

Then, upon approaching the receptionist and her little table behind protective glass, he suppressed rolling his eyes.

"Ryuuzaki Yagami, what room is he in?" he demanded.

The woman gazed at him, her eyes boring into the back of his skull, dull and uncaring upon the urgency of his tone of voice. "Are you family, sir?" she asked languidly.

Light hissed a 'Yes' through bare teeth.

Her long fingers danced over the keyboard as she typed in the name. "Let me page Dr. Uramura for you." She picked up the phone and pushed in three numbers on the key.

Light exhaled heavily through his nose and cracked his knuckles."She's on her way," informed the receptionist.

He nodded at her and went to sit down. As soon as his sore behind met with the seat, the door opened and Dr. Uramura waved for him to follow her. They walked back into the elevator as last time.

"Light-kun," she said, gazing at him. Light noticed that she appeared more tired and weary than the last time he had seen her. "There is something I need to discuss with you."

"Is Ryuuzaki all right?" Light interjected.

"He is fine," she assured, holding her hand up to keep him from interrupting once again, "But I need you to be honest with me."

She then pressed the alarm button and the elevator stopped in its tracks, giving a slight jolt. No alarms went off.

Gaze leveled, Light stared at her narrowed eyes. "Are you sure that was a good idea? What if patients need to use this elevator?"

"Patients have their own elevator down; this one is used by their visitors." She removed her glasses which made her appear older. "Who exactly is Ryuuzaki, Light-kun?"

"Excuse me?" she had caught on, hadn't she? He furrowed a brow, a confused look upon his face.

"Don't _bullshit_ me. This is not my first amnesic case. I have taken care of homeless people with memory loss, and even so, I was able to retrieve some sort of record of their previous lives. Now, here comes along Ryuuzaki, and he has given me so much trouble, the whole thing about him having not a single record of existing! So who the hell is he? Really."

Light narrowed his eyes, equaling Uramura's intensity. "Why do you expect me to know who he really is?"

"You said you were his _friend! _How can you be friends with someone and not know a thing about them?" Her tone grew a decibel louder and more violent with each passing second.

Light took a deep breath, giving himself a moment longer to calculate what he would say next. "He lived a secret life," he said, sighing.

"This is more than just living a secret life. You and your family are hiding something about him, and as his doctor, I have the right to know. I did your father a favor by taking care of Ryuuzaki single-handedly, but if I don't get the whole story, I will be forced to take matters elsewhere."

The two ceased all talk and just looked at one another, rage and frustration emitting from both of them. Light, keeping his calm dexterity, relaxed his body and kept from twitching. He had been aware that this moment would have come at some point, and the looming presence of the weight within his watch become ever so persistent. However, now was not the time or place for such rash decisions. Anyhow, that piece of Death Note paper was meant for L. In addition, if Uramura were to just drop dead in an elevator, suspicion would fall upon him once more.

She _did_ have to die, though; she was prying into business that was not hers to meddle with.

Light then said, "I suggest you start this elevator again before I complain to your supervisors. This little meeting of yours can be seen as harassment, or assault." He nodded his head ever so slightly toward the camera positioned at the of corner of his metal prison.

Dr. Uramura looked up to the camera and back at Light. She hesitated, her finger hovering over the button, as she wondered about the consequences if she decided to further her_ assault. _ Finally, she pressed the button and the doors spread open. Neither person spoke. Light followed Dr. Uramura out.

"Your father is on his way. I will discuss matters with him," she commented, a sour look, upon her face, she quickly looked away, stomping down the corridor. "Please take a seat and wait for him," she added as she trudged away.

Light put up no fight and tended to glancing around the deserted hallway. Had she, Uramura, failed to mention whether L had recovered any memories? If so, had he forgotten so easily? The room number Ryuuzaki had been moved to (the doctors were moving him frequently, to accommodate the genius) had not been spoken of. He could not check on the problem now, so, he listened to his instincts and remained calm. Anyhow, if Ryuuzaki had remembered something, she was the kind of person who would have been boasting around the hospital about it. However, with memories restored, L could have been smart enough not remain clueless to her. Light felt anxious and restless, and he did not like it at all.

In his peripheral vision, he spotted cameras at two different angles; each one most likely had him in frame. He put his hands together and rested his forehead against them, emitting a groan. There had never been a time in his life where he had felt this nervous, helpless.

L might have been suffering, but Light needed him to in order to keep his reign as Kira. In addition, he was the only one immune to the Death Note, making him much more of a danger than before. No longer could Light pull out his trump card without being discovered as the mass murderer, as Kira.

_Damn you, L._

"Light—"

The brunet lifted his head to see his father striding to his side. He stood tall and forced a calmed, cool walk, reaching his father.

"How's Ryuuzaki?" Soichirou asked.

Light shook his head. "They won't let me see him."

"Yagami-san—" The turned in response to Dr. Uramura, either slightly confused or angered. "May I have a word with you?" Her eyes were glazed over with the same stare she had worn whilst talking with Light. That meant she would pester his father for answers; Light grit his teeth in despair.

Then, his pocket vibrated with a familiar presence of a phone. He scrambled for the cellular device and peered at the glowing rectangular screen.

_Misa_.

The corners of his mouth twitched upward into a daft smile.

"Hello," he flipped the phone open and gently greeted the caller.

"Liiiight!" Misa's high pitched voice came from the other end, purring with delight. "I am _so_ bored. I'm getting _nothing_ out of my research."

She had not located the two adopted criminals yet, how typical of her. He would probably have to do it himself. "I'm sorry to hear that. I am at the hospital right now. Listen, I need you to do me a favor."

Then, he stalked away to the bathroom in order to get some privacy.

* * *

Upon his return from the bathroom and conversation with Misa, he found his father in midst of an intense argument with Dr. Uramura; the woman had appeared to have pushed his father into a corner.

"What's going on?" Light questioned, coming up from behind.

His father acknowledged his presence with a distant, pleading look whilst Uramura continued arguing her point."…If I don't get more information about Ryuuzaki-kun," she threatened, jabbing her finher into his chest, "I will not hesitate to call the FBI."

Soichirou then responded, "There's no need to go that far."

"Well, there will be a need if you don't tell me anything about the conditions he lives in at your home? About the environment?" She inquired, eyes lit with passionate emotion, hands propped upon her hips.

"I assure you," Light interjected, "Our home life is very safe for Ryuuzaki. I _am_ his friend and I will be, and have been, there for him."

Uramura sent Light a cold glare before turning back to his father. "I highly suggest that Ryuuzaki-kun be transferred to a special resort that specially deals with people who have amnesia—"

"A resort?" Light repeated, flustered and knowing he was granting her nerves, "He's suffering from amnesia, and you make it sound as if he's going to go on vacation. What is his opinion on the matter?"

Finally, she addressed Light. "I haven't brought up the subject up, yet. And I won't until he's done with the police sketch artist."

Never had a woman made feel helpless and weak, powerless and naïve, anxious and angry all at once; he felt his stomach churn and twists as his insides dangerously awaited for a silver lining.

"He's with a sketch artist?" Soichirou asked, baffled, "Has he remembered something?"

She nodded. "Yes, he requested the artist himself; he mentioned something about someone's face and how it continued to come to him in dreams."

As hard to read and stiff as a statue, Light pondered several questions; whom was the sketch artist drawing? Who or what did L remember? How much did he know?

"Dr. Uramura," a male nurse announced his presence as he rushed over. "We need some assistance in the I.U."

She let out an exasperated sigh and followed him, mumbling obscenities. Light followed her out with his gaze before turning to look at his father. "Did she tell you where Ryuuzaki's room was?"

He nodded slowly, looking so much older than he had before. "He's in room 221."

The brunet nodded in appreciation and turned toward the opposite direction; he sprinted down the hall, counting the room numbers. His father's presence was soon sensed alongside his, but, to his surprise, nothing about disobeying the doctor's orders came from his mouth. They located the room in silence; Light turned the handle and pushed the door open.

The room looked the same as the last; with L sitting upon the bed, his knees pulled up against his chest, the room appeared just as the one before. He wore his usual blue jeans and a white tee. Oddly, Light could not shake off the feeling of walking to the Kira Task Force building—much like he had done only a few weeks prior. In addition, before him sat L, _not_ Ryuuzaki. Across from L sat a balding man with a sketchpad. His tongue poked out between his lips as he worked.

Ryuuzaki turned his head toward them while his hands rested on his knees. "Afternoon, Light-kun, Yagami-san."

"Hey," Light said, looking to the sketch artist, "Are we interrupting?"

"Nah, I'm just finishing up," said the old man. His voice was dark and hoarse, that of a smoker's.

"Are you feeling okay, Ryuuzaki?" Soichirou asked, walking over to him.

"Yes, I am fine now. Even after the incident at your house, I do not remember anything significant. Other than a face I kept seeing." L cradled his chin in his palm. "It worries me."

"You'll be fine, Ryuuzaki."

"I'm done," announced the old man. He reached forward and handed L his finished piece of work.

The amnesic detective studied the picture while listlessly chewing on his thumb. "Yes," he mumbled, "Yes, this looks exactly like him."

He looked to Soichirou and then to Light. "Do you know who this man is and his relationship with me?"

He turned the page around to show them. Soichirou sucked in an audible intake of breath, and Light bit painfully inside his cheek. It was just as he had suspected. Sketched in pencil was the exact portrait of Watari, down to every wrinkle and twinkling specks within the eyes. He knew the day would come, much like the day L would remember who he really was.

The silence stretched on between the three of them. It was Light that took the leap in front of the moving train, sacrificing all composure and sanity.

"Yes, we know who he is," he spoke, smiling softly to his friend, "We have records, too."

For the first time since they had been handcuffed, L smiled widely, happily, appearing like a giddy child.

* * *

_(A/N): I would like to thank TallyInTheGreen for taking time out of her busy schedule to betaread my chapter. Thank you so much! I don't know where I would be without you. :)_


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